Thursday, October 17, 2013

The Awkward Birthday Greeting

So the other day I ran into a co-worker, after she picked herself off the floor, I asked her how her birthday was, 'cause I am totally nice like that.

Now let me pause here to say, that I want people to think I am awesome. But it isn’t very often that I come across that way. So I wanted to acknowledge her age and congratulate her on this milestone birthday.

 I remembered my co-worker’s birthday was a big one. I knew it was a rite of passage birthday, with a big “0” behind it. But for the life of me I couldn't remember how old she was turning, but I had a hunch it had to be either 50 or 60.

After she told me about her awesome party, she recounted how she hated turning older, and getting wrinkles in various parts of her body.

Wrinkles? Getting older?
Woman please!
Being the amazing genius that I am, with my keen sense of deduction, I was pretty sure:
 wrinkles + getting older = 50.

So I was so excited to let her know how fantastic I was, because not only did I remember her birthday but, I remembered her age.
How great am I?
Ahhh, pretty great.

Robeirto, you are so thoughtful and smart. I had no idea how smart you are.” She would say.

And I would say something like, “Oh you! I am not as thoughtful or smart as all that.” 
But inside I would be like, “You are right! I am thoughtful and terribly smart. Not to mention terribly good looking in this suit from Mr. Mac.”

So in my excitement, I spouted off,
Hey don’t worry about getting old. 50 is the new 30!”

(Awkward Pause)

But I’m 40.”, she said.


(Dramatic Sigh)Simplicity. Friends, a simple “Happy Birthday” is enough to make people think you are an awesome person. Don’t mess with guessing peoples ages.
I’m not going’ to lie to you…
they don’t love it.