The Revelation of Others

I love when people get revelation for me. It saves me so much time in the hunt for a spouse. I mean, why would I receive revelation for my own affairs when there are a whole army of people intercepting them for me.

One day at church, a sweet sister approached me with something very important to say. How do I know it was important? Because, she cupped my elbow with her hand and gently whispered in my ear, "I need to talk to you about something very important. Can I meet with you after church?"

Thinking it had something to do with my calling or perhaps an assignment that needed to be filled, I politely agreed to meet her in the chapel after church.

During Sunday School I kept thinking that perhaps she had contracted some terrible disease and needed a blessing or perhaps she was having some doubts about her testimony and was needing my help to get her back on track.

After the block, I entered the chapel to see her sitting quietly with a very pious look on her face. As I approached, she gently guided me into the pew next to her. My thoughts began to race because she looked so concerned.

She let out a sigh and said, "Robierto, I was in Boise, Idaho over the weekend, and as I was sitting in Relief Society listening the the Relief Society President speak I felt greatly impressed that you should date her."

She continued, "Now I have her address, phone number, email address, and a hand drawn sketch of her. What you do with this information on this 3 x 5 card (she pulled a 3x5 out of her tweed suit pocket) is now up to you. You can do what you want with it...but you need to date this girl, because I got a revelation about it. I won't follow up with you on this, but the power lies within you."

I tried to respond, but she put her finger, that smelled like Ivory soap, to my lips as if to say, "I know, you are welcome." 

The next week, she approached and I tried to duck into the nursery, but they had the child proof door handles on, so I couldn't get in.

So again, she gently cupped my elbow in her hands and said, "Well have you called, texted, or emailed her yet?" 

(P.S. If someone ever gives you a name of someone to set you up with and then says they won't follow up with on it, be prepared for their pants to indeed start on fire before your very eyes. They are not strong enough to resist the follow up.)

I wanted to gently cupped her elbow and say, "Thank you for getting this revelation for me, I really appreciate it. However, I haven't finished dating all the girls in the greater Utah area. Once I have dated all of them, then I will consider putting myself out in other states. Mmm-kay."

But being the polite and spineless person that I am, I just lied and said that I got engaged and then I switched wards.


Ronnie said…
Well since you want all that has been revealed to me on your behalf...I have a list of names for you. Just let me know when you are ready for them;)

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