The Days and Nights of Robierto

Yesterday during stake conference I saw my first Apple IPAD sighting. I must say it was quite impressive. I don’t think anyone around this good brother holding his IPAD got anything out of stake conference because all eyes were on this amazingly large gadget. Now there are definitely going to be some draw backs to bringing your IPAD to church. The first, and obvious one, is that no one is going to be paying attention to any lesson or speaker because everyone will watching you diddling on your Ipad. They could announce the second coming over the pulpit and no one would even know because everyone around you would be so enthralled with the amazing functionality and bright colors of your high-tech machinery. Secondly, remember how back in the day when you would bring you IPHONE to church and instead of using it to follow along in the lesson, you could check sport scores and play solitaire during priesthood? And so long as you nodded your head ponderously and looked heavenward every so ...

My job has been really stressful lately. Yesterday, I was almost to the point of shutting my door and sobbing gently to myself. But I resisted and called my co-workers together and said it was time for the “Super Fantastic, 4:10 Express Dance Party”. So I put on my I-Pod and what song did it land on? The Electric Slide. Remember the Electric Slide from High School? The song that brought all those people that absolutely had no rhythm, and really shouldn’t have been dancing in the first place, out on the dance floor for at least one dance that any person could look semi-cool doing. So three of my co-workers congregated in the middle of our office (my other co-workers were too afraid to fly their freak flag that day. Don’t question it, just do it!) and did the dance of joy, or as others call it, the Electric Slide. Then mid way through our dance my boss walked in. We were nervous …but we stayed to true to the dance and kept right on a slidin’. He asked, “What are you guys...

Do you ever email or instant message someone and you want to wrap up the conversation but it goes a little something like this? Them : Thank you so much, good to chat with you. Me : You are very welcome. Good to talk to you as well. ( At this point you go on with your work because you think you are done with your little communiqué. ) Them : I sure appreciate all your efforts. Me : Don’t mention it. (OK we are done with all the pleasantries. Right?) Them : Well I feel like you need to know that you are a valued member of our team. Thanks again. Me: You are welcome. Have a nice day. Them: You to. Have a wonderful day. Me: Thank you, you do the same Them: Thank you so much. Talk to you later. Me: Ok. Them : Ok. Thanks so much, good to chat with you… And so it goes with all the cyclical pleasantries, of saying “ thank you ” and “ don’t mention it ” like eighty times and frankly it is a little grating after a while. Let’s be honest, this is why I can’t in...

When I was on my mission, my companions and I would get a little raucous and loud. But how could I not be raucous? I was hilarious. After a time of raucous laughter, my Mission President would sidle up to me, put his arm on my shoulder, and whisper, “ Quiet dignity Elder. Quiet dignity ” That seemed to quiet me right down. I knew that as a missionary I should be more “ dignified ” because of what I was doing. This weekend I had occasion to go to General Conference and I was reminded of the importance of the principle of “ Quiet Dignity ”. Now I don’t know if you are aware but outside the Conference Center there are people out protesting the Church and some of its doctrines. I was prepared for that. What I wasn’t prepared for, were some of the members of my church doing counter protesting in some pretty ridiculous ways. Let me call out few of the things that I saw and you be the judge how “ Quiet Dignified ” they were. Group #1 - As I entered the Conference Center grounds, t...

Do you ever assume that you are better friends with someone than they think you are? I have this “ friend ” who lives in my neighborhood, we work for the same company, and we belong to the same church, so you would think we could consider each other friends, maybe not “ best-ies ” but friends nevertheless. So yesterday I saw my friend at work and I walked up to him and said, “ Hey friend ( the name has been changed to protect me ), How is it going ?” His response, “ Hey Dave , It’s good to see you .” I thought, " Dave? Really? Dave? " Now let me pause here to remind you the name of my blog, The Days and Nights of Robierto . No, my first name isn’t Davy, it’s Robbie, Mr. Abney if you're nasty. So as we made small talk, he kept referring to me as “ Dave ”. I can understand him making the same mistake once but over and over again? I didn’t know if I should have correct him, because I know he knows my name, he used it last week at church for pity’s sake. I was so ...

When I was in my younger years I was in a performing group in college called “Showtime”. We would sing and dance, and do firesides about “Chastity”. Looking back at that time it really was one of the happiest I have ever had. I look at my life now, which is great don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I feel like I am just in survival mode, just getting through when really shouldn’t the opposite be true? I don’t have highs or lows just the status quo, just normal everyday living, and I don’t know that I love it. To be honest that is why I haven’t blogged for a while because nothing funny has happened. Sometimes I wish I could get the band together for just one more “Chastity” fireside. Grab a microphone, a tuxedo, and just sing my guts out for an hour about the dangers of STD’s. I think that could solve all my problems…and potentially anyone in the audience with a chastity problem…but this is my night, so it’s mostly for me.

I went walking on the Jordan River Trail at lunch and this man rushed up to me looking terrified, like someone was chasing him. He looked at me and said, " Dude be careful up ahead because... ( Now let me pause here to ask you a question. If some crazy person comes running up to you in a highly wooded area, what do you automatically assume? I'm thinking there is a man wearing a hockey mask chasing him with a butcher knife, or a rabid Grizzly bear on the trail killing everyone in it's path. Wouldn't you assume the same? ) Now back to the story already in progress... So he is out of breath and can't finish his sentence so I automatically say, " What? What is it? Do you need help ?" He looks up at me with his eyes full of terror and says, " There are seven deer on the trail! BE CAREFUL ". OK. Deer? Seriously dude? I stared at him and then gave him a good slap on the face, and moved on down the trail. People can be so queer around wildlife. Bless ...