The Run

Do you ever overestimate your athletic ability? You have run a marathon, triathlon, and won the two legged race at your office picnic this year, so when your friend invites you to run a 5k you think to yourself, “Honestly how hard can this be?”

Actually pretty hard.

Did I mention I haven’t run for, oh I don’t know, six months or so? And I am still running in the same shoes from last year. And I was feeling gassy the morning of? But all these things notwithstanding I am an athlete, my body will automatically snap right back into the groove once that gun goes off. Right?

Let me also pause here to say that at this same race last year I placed first in my age division, so really I came into the race with a certain expectation of me winning yet again. But alas, who could have anticipated how events would unfold that would affect me in a deep in a profound way throughout the remainder of the race.

So for whatever reason I couldn’t find the start of the race. I am driving around hoping they will wait until I arrive, because I won last year, and it ain’t no party, unless it’s a Rob Abney party. Am I RIGHT?

I pull in right when the gun went off to start the race. So I jumped out of my car, trying to take off my sweat pants while running at the same time. So I couldn’t get them over my shoes but I just keep running with them down around my knees.

I really need to purchase some “pull away” sweat pants like they have in the NBA or at a local strip club, because I am afraid I looked really stupid.

So I am running a long, and feel like I am running in slow motion, in fact I might as well have been running backwards with how slow I was going. Everyone else was passing by me so quickly and I just needed to stop and take a little breather until my second wind kicked in. It never came, so I decided to take a short break at the 1 mile mark where they were serving water to get my head back in the game. Well, 30 minutes later and after a refreshing 15 cups of water I continued on.

I finished the race with a time of 60 minutes. Yep, I ran about a 20 minute mile, a very nice clip if I may say so.

Needless, to say I didn’t win this year. In fact, I think I came in last, well not dead last, one of my friends accidently went the wrong way and ended up running the 10K.

So the take away lesson from this experience friends is never put your confidence in last year’s win…and don’t show up late…and always wear “tear away” sweats.