The Days and Nights of Robierto

Does going to the mall make you feel lonely? I don’t know why but when I walk into the mall and I feel lonely. And not just lonely, but so lonely I feel the need to go sit in my car and listen to the “ Carpenters ” lonely. Why is that? I have been at the mall a lot lately trying to buy new pants to replace the ones that blew out the zipper in the “ great weight gain debacle of 2011 ”, and I have pondered this question a lot and here is what I have come up with. Reason 1 -  I lack fashion courage. Sometimes you need someone to say, “ Hey you would look good in those skinny jeans ” or “ those skinny jeans make your butt look big ”. Sometimes when I am shopping alone I don’t get that feedback, so I end up buying skinny jeans that possibly could be a little too skinny, if you know what I mean. Reason 2 -  Sometimes I am way too tight with my money. If anything is over $20.00 or not on clearance I won’t even look twice at it. Sometimes you need someone to ...

I hate buying pants. There I’ve said it. Any other article of clothing I feel pretty confident about buying…except shirts, socks, and shoes…but anything else , super confident about it. Friends, my zipper blew out of my pants yesterday.   And when I say “ blew out ” I literally mean that, it went flying out of my pants and hit someone in the face. It’s all because I have put on some weight because I have started drinking egg nog a little prematurely this year. It’s a topic I don’t want really want to talk about because it makes me depressed and drives me into the loving arms of egg nog all over again. It’s a vicious cycle. So anyway, I went to the mall yesterday hoping that I would find exactly what I was looking for, for under $20.00. Expectations a little too high? You betcha ! Can I ask a question? What is with skinny jeans, skinny dress pants, and plunging V-neck t-shirts that go to your belly button? I don’t get it. They give me stress. How can anyone be ...