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Showing posts from October, 2017

The Revelation of Others

I love when people get revelation for me. It saves me so much time in the hunt for a spouse. I mean, why would I receive revelation for my own affairs when there are a whole army of people intercepting them for me.

One day at church, a sweet sister approached me with something very important to say. How do I know it was important? Because, she cupped my elbow with her hand and gently whispered in my ear, "I need to talk to you about something very important. Can I meet with you after church?"

Thinking it had something to do with my calling or perhaps an assignment that needed to be filled, I politely agreed to meet her in the chapel after church.

During Sunday School I kept thinking that perhaps she had contracted some terrible disease and needed a blessing or perhaps she was having some doubts about her testimony and was needing my help to get her back on track.

After the block, I entered the chapel to see her sitting quietly with a very pious look on her face. As I approac…

The Party Great Escape

Friends, I am not much of a party goer. In fact, if I am being honest, and I would like to think that I am, I HATE parties. I shouldn't say "hate", I like parties that have, oh I don't know, maybe 2-3 people attending. Once we hit 4 people in one room, socially I feel obligated to leave. It's too loud and the social responsibility to talk to all those people is just too much. Am I right?

Last night, I attended a party. When I entered the party there was about 3 people mulling around. We had appetizers, we shared some laughs, it was fantastic.

15 minutes later, all of a sudden there was a steady stream of people flooding the party. Little by little I was pushed into the breakfast nook holding my virgin mint julep and meatball on a tooth pick. I couldn't hear, and I really wasn't the center of attention any more. At this point the voice inside me said, "Um-kay, it's time to go,"

There was a slight problem friends, there was a sea of people bet…

The Blind "Blind Date"

I love blind dates. They are my preferred method of meeting people.
False.
I hate this medium of dating. It is terrible and needs to be stopped immediately.

People try to set me up on blind dates all the time and they have come to find that I am no longer subscribing to that method of social interactions, as it never ends well for me and I am pretty sure it is a major cause to my irritable bowel syndrome, or IB as I like to call it.

But my friends have found a cleaver loop hole which I like to call the blind, blind date.

It goes a little something like this. My friend will invite me over for, let's say a BBQ. They tell me, "We haven't seen you for a long time and would love to have you come over and catch up. You are such an amazing human being and would love to have your influence in and around our children."

How could I not pass up free food and such flattery.

So I show up with the expectation of spending some quality time with friends, when out of the corner of my …