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Showing posts from 2015

The "I Don't Have Time to Do Fun Things, Because I am Doing Amazing Things with My Time" Friend.

So I invited a friend of mine to attend a movie this weekend.

His response, "Oh I wish I could, but I have so many things going on. I am working on my Masters degree, during the day,  home schooling my children in the afternoon, and then our family knits bandages for Bosnian refugees in the evening."

And this is my favorite part..."You are so lucky you have so much free time on your hands that you can go do things, like go to the movies."

Which, if you really think about it, is a back handed way of saying, "The things I am focusing on are so much more important, then what you are focusing on in life."

Um...OK.

Obviously, my friend hasn't seen the movie trailer for "Jurassic World" because, friends if he had, he would put down his knitting and realize that the greatest issue that requires our time and attention today, is the issue of genetically enhanced dinosaurs threatening our way of life in the United States...or Isla Nublar...which is pa…

The Phlebotimist Blind Date Request

So here is something that happened to me last Saturday that has troubled me lo these many days.

I went to go give blood as I am oft to do, because I am an amazing person who gives of himself. As part of the screening process, as you may know, you are required to go into a tiny room, well more like a closet, to go through a very rigorous screening process and answer some very personal questions.

So there I was, sitting literally knee to knee with this phlebotimist, trying to make awkward small talk about things like, oh I don't, how uncomfortable I am with being in tiny spaces with complete strangers, when I let slip that I was "single". Now, I am convinced no one should reveal among those who are married, because when that little nugget of information is out there friends, you know a blind date invitation will soon follow. Am I right?

As predicted, she put down her stethoscope and blood pressure cuff, and said, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure&qu…

The Movie Peer Pressure

A movie came out recently that had everyone talking.

"The special effects are amazing!"
"That movie had me on the edge of my seat for all 15 hours."
"I laughed, I cried, It cured my gingivitis!"

I won't tell you the name of the movie, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling who really liked it, but it starts with and "I" and rhymes with "Mintersteller".

A group of my friends took me to this movie and we are all excited because, as I said before, the buzz about this movie was off the charts. So my expectation was that I was really going to love this movie.

So 15 hours later, the lights came up and here were my thoughts:

"Wait..I don't get it. Do he go back to space? Wait. What? I don't understand. Am I stupid? Why is everyone in the movie running on different times? Dangit I knew I should have taken AP Physics? I don't get it! This movie is super confusing."

Needless to say, I didn't like this mo…