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Showing posts from September, 2013

The Free Beverage and Nuts

What is it about flying that delights us so? Is it hurdling through the air at 1000 mph? Is it the bathrooms that no normal sized person can fit in to? How about the seats that never seem to recline enough to actually be comfortable?
Honestly, my favorite part of the flight is the complimentary beverage and snack. I get giddy when I hear the metal cart banging into seats and unsuspecting passenger’s legs.
In my mind the flight attendants are saying, “Robierto, and all the rest of you little people, you are being such good fliers and behaving so well…we are goin’ sneak ya’ll a little treat. Don’t tell the Captain.”
I turn into a five year old inside and actually have to talk myself down so my heart rate doesn't spike, “Robierto, be cool.  Be cool. It’s free food I know,  but let’s be cool.”
So I start flipping through the in-flight magazine, trying to find what my options are for my free beverage and snack. But some idiot has ripped out the pages,and has already filled out the c…

The Foot in the Mouth

Do you ever get too big for your britches?
I live a quiet, reserved little life, but there are moments when someone gives me a little free reign and for a while I am sky high.  Then I fly too close to the sun and I crash and burn.
So last week I was helping my friend with a 5k race in Brooklyn, New York. What was my job you ask?
My job was to get a few runners, well let’s just say 8,000 runners, pumped up before the start of the race.
Now I am a very quiet and reserved person, so the idea of getting in front of a large crowd scared me to death. But I didn't want to let my friend down so I agreed to the task.
When he handed me the microphone to start my “pumping up” extravaganza, I felt like I was going to have explosive diarrhea, and friends that wasn't going to help anyone get pumped up.
Admittedly, since I grew up in the 90’s I fell back to what I heard VJ’s say on MTV. Such things as, “You go girl” and “Gurl, you are workin’ that head band.”
But after some initial awkward…