The Free Beverage and Nuts

What is it about flying that delights us so?

Is it hurdling through the air at 1000 mph?

Is it the bathrooms that no normal sized person can fit in to?

How about the seats that never seem to recline enough to actually be comfortable?

Honestly, my favorite part of the flight is the complimentary beverage and snack.

I get giddy when I hear the metal cart banging into seats and unsuspecting passenger’s legs.

In my mind the flight attendants are saying, “Robierto, and all the rest of you little people, you are being such good fliers and behaving so well…we are goin’ sneak ya’ll a little treat. Don’t tell the Captain.”

I turn into a five year old inside and actually have to talk myself down so my heart rate doesn't spike, “Robierto, be cool.  Be cool. It’s free food I know,  but let’s be cool.”

So I start flipping through the in-flight magazine, trying to find what my options are for my free beverage and snack. But some idiot has ripped out the pages,and has already filled out the crossword and Sudoku…and those flight attendants are two rows away.

So now I am totally panicking. “OK Robierto let’s think logically here and break this down. You know that if you get tomato juice they will give you a whole can, which will be good… but that will make you gassy, and it’s a five hour flight. But if we go with Ginger Ale, you will only get half a can, but you actually like Ginger Ale. Why am I cursed with such difficult decisions?”

So now the cart is one row away.

“Robierto, you have got to make up your mind. Tomato juice or Ginger Ale? Come on buddy you can do this!?”

So now the cart has now arrived. And the flight attendant says, “Sir, can I get you a complementary beverage, followed by a light snack.”

So I just blurt out, “Yes, I will have some…”

“Oh not you sir, I was talking to your neighbor.”

So now I am even more nervous because I got shot down by a flight attendant.

So finally she gets to me, “Sir, can I get you a beverage and light sn…

“Yes. Yes, you can. Yes. I, I will have a, um, a tomato juice with a, um, peanuts.”

Which isn't really what I wanted but I panicked. So I savored my whole can of tomato juice, and tiny bag of three peanuts, while wishing I would have gotten the Ginger Ale and cookies.

Was I gassy? Yes. Do I regret my decision…possibly.

But friends, I just love that with the purchase of your $5000.00 plan ticket you get a free, FREE beverage. FREE!

I mean what isn't incredibly exciting about that?

That’s got to be the best deal in town.