Showing posts from March, 2009

Reading Aloud

I have gotten into the habit lately of reading out loud. Not the whole book, mind you but just the dialogue portions. It helps me to really get into the characters, and let’s be honest there are some great pick up lines, especially from those harlequin romance novels I’m always a readin’. Am I right?

So yesterday, I was in our break room just eating my lunch and reading my book when I noticed that I was the only person in the entire room. And I thought why just read out loud at home when I can do it at work as well? So I started in.

I was enjoying my “out loud” reading when I heard someone opening the door. So I went back into silence mode until I heard the door shut again.

Once she left, immediately the “mute button” came off my reading and I went back into the open dialogue. It was powerful! I was coming up with different voices for each character and I even started throwing in some hand gestures for good measure.

I was right in the middle of a climatic heated dialogue between an elf an…

Keep My Holy Library HOLY

Remember how strict the library used to be?

I remember as a child being trained by the librarian that entering the library was like going to church. No gum, no talking, fold your arms and shut your mouth, no running, and if you check out a book you had better get it back on time or they would burn down your house and cut out your tongue.

Remember those good days. As long as you respected the library you could hang out there for hours looking at micro fiche and old outdated magazines. Good times!

I hate to tell you this but friends the library has gotten lax.

I went to the library yesterday and while I was looking up a book to check out the teenage couple next to me were talking, in full voice mind you, about how “Schmoopy” they thought each other was. Oh brother.

Then someone with the “Pineapple Rag” as their ring tone just let it go on and on and instead of turning it off, smiled and answered it, again in full voice. Good thing they got rid of those annoying ring tones, am I right?

And th…

Twillight Revisited

After my local Wal-mart was mobbed with thousands of screaming women, and by popular demand, I have decided to again post my feelings about the Twillight Movie.
So this weekend I happened to catch "Twilight" the cinematic spectacular that seems to have captured all the women that I know in a vice grip and will not release them back to reality.
In a previous blog, I have openly admitted that I have read all four books in the "Twilight" series. I found the first books pretty good so I went into the movie thinking with all the technology we have available to us, this movie should rock. Well friends I left feeling something was a miss, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
After some serious reflection I have put my thoughts about the movie into some talking points:
Point 1- At one point Edward tells Bella she is his own personal brand of heroin. Is that supposed to be flattering? I may be new at this love-ease, but really? Heroin? Since Edward has been alive, I don'…

“a Wunerful, a Wunferful!”

Do you ever find yourself on Sunday afternoon flipping through the channels and you can’t seem to find anything on? And then out of no where you stubble upon a Lawerence Welk re-run. And immediately you change the channel because that is so beneath your sophisticated viewing palette and let’s be honest, some of the colors on those outfits hurt your eyes.

After another rotation of nothing on, some how you are drawn to “Lawerence and the gang” and watch a little bit longer and laugh at how corny it is and how they spontaneously break into random acts of tap dancing.

On your final sweep of channel surfing you again find yourself with Mr. Welk only this time you are fascinated about how super sweet a musical number is about a little old lady sitting alone in a restaurant and then at the musical numbers finale everyone rushes over to her and they all embrace followed by the little old lady doing a rousing tap solo on a table.

You find you are making comments to yourself aloud, about how the …

Young @ Heart

Have you ever heard of the documentary called Young @ Heart? It is not one that is on hand at your local Redbox so you will actually have to go into a video store to rent it. That may be a new concept to some of you but yes they are still in existence.

So it was nominated for an Oscar a couple of years ago and the idea of it really captivated me. They follow the Young @ Heart choir, which is a choir consisting of 70-80 year olds who sing songs ranging from Coldplay to Sonic Youth, for a couple of months.

I went into this movie thinking it would be very funny seeing these older folks singing some hard rock. And although there were some good laughs I was struck at how touched I was when they sang some of their songs. I watched it two weeks ago and I still think about it. It was that impactful.

In the last scene of their concert they sing ColdPlay’s “Fix Me”. Let me stop to say that I have a love/hate relationship with this song because I love the song itself but I hate ColdPlays version of…

The Prune

Do you ever start liking a food all of a sudden that you didn’t like at all before? One word for you friends: Prunes. They are delicious!

Ya know, I always considered Prunes to be an “old person” food, but friends make no mistake, Prunes are youthful, hip and oh so cool, let’s not make any bones about it. You know how important it is for me to only eat cool food.

One thing that I learned is that the Prune needs to be respected. You walk a fine line of intestinal regularity with the Prune. Oh sure they are tasty in moderation but take one too many and wow, you are asking for trouble.

Like last night when I thought I would make a Prune smoothy. “I love smoothies and I love prunes, what a beautiful marriage of flavors and tastes that will be”, I thought naively.

Within about an hour I realized that I had crossed the line of “Prune safety” by putting five in my blender. Quickly, I was moved upon to be stay in for the night.

For those of you who are new to the “Prune game” let me teach a littl…
Remember that time when you were in elementary school and you had fund raisers where you had to sell spice racks, jewelry, and on the rare occasion window cleaner to fund playground equipment and lice checks? And you would walk door to door and be rejected by your neighbors? But the ultimate insult and what really hurt is when you would go to your so called “friends” and “families” houses and they refused to buy your product. Oh, it was so painful.

During a particularly difficult fundraiser where I felt like the “little match girl (or boy as it were) practically begging people to buy my wares in the blinding snow, I made a vow that I would buy anything that a child sold me no matter how cheap or stupid it was. I would do it just to make the child feel good about themselves, because if Whitney Houston has taught us anything it is that, oh yes, CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE.

So on Saturday I went to the store on my way home from work, just to grab a gallon of milk so I could enjoy my Malt-o-Mi…

Wonderful, Wonderful, Day

Man, I had such a fantastic day yesterday? I got everything done at work in record time and even had time on my lunch break to go feed the homeless. I got home and ran four miles under 45 minutes in my new aerodynamic running tights. Then without even changing, I jumped in my car and shot over to the local Wal-mart to purchase ingredients for a healthy meal of turkey burgers. And then to top it all off, I got all my groceries for under $40.00. Nice.

I was on the top of my game friends and nothing was slowing me down. Just like the theme song from "Karate Kid” says, I was the best around, nothings ever gonna keep me down.

So as the sliding glass doors at the Wal-mart opened, a blast of warm spring air greeted me with a whip of my hair. And for a moment I feel like doing something that would physically express my carefree-ness to all those in the Wal-mart parking lot.

Toyota jump? Not very expressive.

Mary Tyler Moore hat throw? No. Not wearing a hat, and the hat would probably land on…