Reading Aloud

I have gotten into the habit lately of reading out loud. Not the whole book, mind you but just the dialogue portions. It helps me to really get into the characters, and let’s be honest there are some great pick up lines, especially from those harlequin romance novels I’m always a readin’. Am I right?

So yesterday, I was in our break room just eating my lunch and reading my book when I noticed that I was the only person in the entire room. And I thought why just read out loud at home when I can do it at work as well? So I started in.

I was enjoying my “out loud” reading when I heard someone opening the door. So I went back into silence mode until I heard the door shut again.

Once she left, immediately the “mute button” came off my reading and I went back into the open dialogue. It was powerful! I was coming up with different voices for each character and I even started throwing in some hand gestures for good measure.

I was right in the middle of a climatic heated dialogue between an elf and a dwarf and my voice was rising into a shout, and I was about ready to climb on my chair and shout out the final line…when, behind me, I heard the ever so subtle crinkle of a candy wrapper.

Remember, that time when I heard someone enter the break room and then thought they had left? Well they didn’t, they had been watching me for about…oh I would say five minutes.

So instinctually I did what any sane person would do. I froze mid-stance with my arm raised slightly to the heavens. Just like a our chameleon friends of old, I was hoping, in fact praying that if I held ever so still I would slowly blend into the tan wallpaper and potted plant next to me and this voyeur would not be able to see me any more.

Well to my astonishment that didn’t work. So now what?

After about a minute I decided to slowly lower myself back into my chair and just ignore the fact that she was there.

Really? What kind of a person sits there watching another human being humiliate themselves without notifying them of their presence? What, you couldn’t clear your throat or do an awkward cough?

You’re the one with the problem not me. Because I am not crazy, I am just expressive.
Because..(awkward laughter)...I am not crazy.
I’m not.


Bart said…
Oh to be a fly on that tan wallpaper. I would have laughed my little fly wings off.
Heidi said…
I think it means that you should audition for "Hello Dolly" at the Hale in West Valley on April 6. You were just, um, practicing for it in the break room. Yes.
Erin said…
I love this! I can only imagine what that person was thinking sitting in there with you reading aloud. You probably read in your Angel Gabriel voice too, huh!

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