Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The Passionate Political Speech

Friends, I want to bring Phil Davison’s drive and passion into all areas of my life. I would be unstoppable…perhaps a little unstable, but unstoppable nevertheless.

There are a couple of things I have learned from Phil’s speech:
  1. When giving an important speech it’s always good to be memorized, or to at least carry your notes with you, so you avoid tedious wandering on stage and misquoting Albert Einstein. 
  2. When giving an important speech its might be good to get your volume and tone right. I don’t think it would have hurt Phil, to run his speech by his peers, parents, and perhaps a few of his pets. If they run away in fear…you might want to dial it down a couple notches.

I am sad to report the Phil was not endorsed by the Stark County Republican Executive Committee, it’s hard to say way really, but I think it had something to do with the color of his tie. Who knows?

Friday, January 18, 2013

The Best of Friends

CENTERVILLE, UT— "The wife of a man accused of shooting his neighbor because he thought the neighbor was "telepathically" raping her, has now been charged with encouraging her husband to "go for it."
On Oct. 30, police say Michael Selleneit took a handgun that he kept under his pillow, walked over to his neighbor's trailer and shot Tony Pierce, 41, multiple times as the man was working in his yard.
When Selleneit was arrested, he told police he shot Pierce in self-defense and intended to kill him, claiming Pierce had been "telepathically threatening he and his wife" and had telepathically raped his wife. It was a claim that Selleneit had been making for years."
No story has brought me more sadness than to hear about my good friends Meloney and Michael.
As I read their sad tale it makes me think of happier times when they were my neighbors in the trailer park about five years ago. But after I moved, they got busy and I got busy and we just lost touch with each other.

But , ah,  I have such fond memories on those hot summer nights, when we would sit outside our trailers and play Texas Hold Um in our tank tops, well, Mike and I in our tank tops and Meloney in her tube top.  And we would snack on, well what appear to be a squirrel or cat, and drink warm soda together. Oh, It was magical.

That Mike was a little pill though, always accusing me of cheating telepathically while playing cards. I would laugh at the accusations, but in hind sight he might have been serious. Ah, good times.

But what pains me most of all is how the media is painting Michael and Meloney (M&M as I like to call them) as crazy people. Look friends, just because someone lives in a trailer and might eat cat on occasion doesn’t make them crazy.

I mean, come on, look at these people, and look deep into their eyes. Are these the faces of crazy people?

A little eccentric perhaps, but not cra…well wait…wait, yeah, no, now I see it.  
Wow, tho…those are not flattering pictures of them.

But trust me they are good people, always willing to drop by with a box of day old Hostess cupcakes or clear off my snow filled drive way with a blow torch.

Ya know, I have tried to reach out to them telepathically to show my support and love, but I haven’t heard anything back from them. Oh well.