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Showing posts from September, 2009

The Hair Growing Miracle

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Have you seen the commercial with Brooke Shields advertising this medicine called Latisse that can help you grow thicker, darker eyelashes? I have to admit that I am intrigued with such a product’s claims. Thicker hair that grows out of no where? Fantastic!But I must say, shouldn’t we be marketing this product to consumers who may need this much more then females?How about balding males? If we have a product that makes hair out of nothing at all (shout out to Air Supply) why aren’t we marketing this to balding men? Much like we do with ED (erectile dysfunction) medication at all hours of the day and night (Which, if I may say, have gotten a little out of control, haven’t they. If was funny at first but…not so much now.)I know men who would give their left leg for a product that would promise them hair growth.Sure, the hair would be course and stick straight up in the air. And yes, your hair would probably be darker then your normal hair color so it would be splotchy at best. But who c…

The Grocery Ascent

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Do you ever go to Wal-Mart and buy 25 items and then for some reason the cashier puts all 25 items in separate bags instead of consolidating your items like you wish he would?And you’re sitting there thinking to yourself, “Hey I live on the third floor pal. How am I supposed to haul all these bags up three flights of stairs in one trip? Friendly Wal-Mart employee, Jeff I believe you name is, just cram it all in there. Smash my bread, bruise my apples, and even crack some of my eggs if you must, but I just want 2-4 bags to carry up my stairs."Usually when I get home with all my bags I open my truck and just stare hopelessly into it, thinking, “How in the world am I going to manage this in one trip?” Mentally is just makes me so tiredWell they say necessity is the mother of invention, so very slowly I start putting bags around my elbows, wrapping bags around my neck, and strapping on as many bags as will fit in my hands. On a good day I can balance a turkey or a gallon of milk betw…

The Newdorff Sisters

This video is brought to you by the blog, Oinkle Doinkle (One of the funniest blogs that I have ever encountered. Check it out)So there are some things that make me love this video.1-Oh Sweet preacher lady, Merry, Blessed, Happy Christmas…um, pretty much the exact same thing. Just saying.2-Check out the great cinematography happening in this video. I love the zoom in, tight focus on the plant and then out to Henrietta and Myrna, and then the zoom back into the plant. Two words: Power, Full.3-Now friends “Go Tell It on the Mountain” is one of my favorite revival songs of praise and remembrance. It takes a special someone to pull it off because it requires both a powerful voice and a lot soul power, if you know what I talking about. Henerietta and Myrna Newdorff’s vocal stylings I have not seen the likes of since Mr. John Dakers. (Which if you haven’t seen friends is worth a watch. Sometimes when I am feeling blue I watch him multiple times a day.)

I love this video because don’t you fee…

The Wal-Mart Greeter

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I always feel bad for the Wal-mart greeters, don’t you? Whenever I go to the Wal-Mart, I always think to myself, “How does one get to the point in their life were "Wal-mart Greeter" becomes a viable option of employment?” Don't get me wrong friends I am happy they are working, but…a greeter? Really?When I express my concern about my friends, the greeters, people say that they must enjoy it because they are retired and it gives them something to do everyday. But surely there must be other places where our “baby boomers” can find some sense of value.At my Wal-Mart my greeter is a retired gentleman who greets me with a high five and then has a cart ready for me when I walked in. It seems a bit much for me. My spirit is already crushed that I have to shop at the Wal-mart, giving me the “Top Gun, One Up, One Down” doesn't do much to embolden my spirit. But I appreciated the effort any who.But as I walked away I felt sad for him. Like I needed to hold him for a minute and …

The Elder's Quorum Lesson

So one of the things I dread in life is teaching Elder’s Quorum at church. I love to teach Sunday School and could do that all day every day, but those Elders are a tough crowd to teach to.It seems to me, and I could be wrong, that the guys just give up once they get to Elders Quorum. They don’t want to answer any questions, or volunteer to read. They just want to sit there for an hour until church gets out.So here was me yesterday teaching, “OK Friends, so who can tell me what Charity is?”(The distant sound of crickets chirping)Now, I am not afraid of silence and I am a believer in letting people ponder the question before they respond, but after ten minutes of very loud silence it’s time for someone to say “uncle”. It’s like a silent competition to see who will cave first. Will the teacher answer his own question or will the elders finally have the courage to speak up? It’s hard to say who ultimately wins this battle in the endYesterday, it seemed that I had to answer the majority o…

The Google

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Remember that time when you Googled you new co-worker and found out about a lot of cool and interesting things they had done at their last job? Remember how you told yourself that you would never bring those things up to them in conversation, because how creepy would that be if they found out you had Googled them?Do you also remember that time when you accidentally slipped and mentioned the cool and interesting things that they had done at their last job that you found on Google while talking to them?And recall if you will, your co-worker’s shock when he asked you how you had found out about the cool and interesting things they had done at their last job.Remember how embarrassed you were that you were found out? So you said you had to go to the bathroom, but you really jumped in your car, drove all the way home and locked yourself in the closet and collapsed in the fetal position, where you rocked and cried yourself to sleep?Remember how you never want to run into that person ever aga…

The Angry Meeting

So I just got a new calling at church, and as such have been thrust into being social and going to many meetings. Honestly people, I am more comfortable sitting in the back making fun of bad musical numbers. Don’t get me wrong friends, I love serving at church and interacting with amazing people. Although, I am having a hard time believing that we need to have so many meetings. And I have hard time believing that when we do hold meetings that they really need to take two hours a shot. Really? Two hours?Last night I attended a two hour meeting that could have been accomplished in one. Keep in mind I loved the topic we were discussing, I believe it is a true principle and should be included in all our lives. However, half way through the meeting I was tempted to stand and say to the speaker, “Good friend, I love you like a brother…but get to the freakin’ point!”To compound matters the two people who I serve with in my calling are just sooo good, and are about ready to be sucked right up…

The Random Thoughts Email

Friends, someone just emailed me these little gems. I seem to relate really well to all of them, and perhaps you may aswell.
I have bolded the ones that apply directly to how I think.

Random Thoughts of the Day:
Was learning cursive really necessary?I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I canthink about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again…

The Higher Power

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Do you ever run into you house after an uncomfortable ride home, throwing your keys and everything else in a trail behind as you need to hit the bathroom stat?You find your seat and realize to your horror that there is no hygenic paper on the roll. And not only that, but after digging through your trash, you can't find anything that could possibly even substitute for hygienic paper.So now you are in a bit of a bind because…what do you do? But you realize you haven’t really let anything go yet, and so it is possible you could probably just travel to another local where the hygienic paper abounds and is open to the public.So in times of trouble I usually turn to a higher power and this was no exception.As I sat pondering on what to do, I looked out my window. And as I looked heavenward I saw a steeple right next to my house. I felt it was a sign, so I ever so gentlely bolted out of the door.Running down the street like a speed walker, I made it just in time to push some boy scouts o…