Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Best Birthday Gift Ever!

So yesterday was my birthday. (I am still accepting gifts by the way, so please drop off yours ASAP),
and I got like 8 trillion "Happy Birthday" wall post on Facebook, mostly because I am so popular, but fear face to face interactions with people.

My friend Chris sent me a birthday video that change me in deep and a profound way for 20 minutes. It was this special, special video entitled "Tight Pants/Body Rolls".

Oh friends I don't know where to start, only to say that this video is so "out there" that I really like it a lot. I relate to the "high kicks" portion. Many of you may not know this, but one of my special gifts is high kicks, I get it from my mom.

Enjoy, and get your birthday gifts to me as soon as you can!

Friday, June 15, 2012


What is it about the DMV that I love?

Is it the wonderful potpourri of smells? A subtle mix of body odor, second hand smoke, and just a hint of poopy diaper.

Is it the breath taking gallery of body art that is on display by people wearing tube and tank tops?

Or is it the line you wait in for 45 minutes, to receive a number so you can wait in another line for another 45 minutes?

Probably, my favorite reason for going to the DMV is the quality of customer service and care I receive from the staff there.

For example, my recent experience at the DMV was a classic example of public service at its finest. 

I had received a letter from the DMV that I needed to renew my license in person, since for the past 20 years I have been carrying around the driver’s license I had in high school. Sure I look great, but I have to be honest, it hasn’t been to my advantage when they check my ID when I go clubbing on the weekends. So I was excited to get the photo updated ASAP.

So after, for what seemed like days waiting in line, and seeing many people turned away because they did not bring the proper documentation to receive their license renewal, I finally arrived to the renewal portal.

Friends, I felt so confident with my renewal situation because I had read through the instructions that were mailed to me. I had my Driver’s License, my social security card, my birth certificate, and I even brought my proof of insurance just for good measure. I was pretty sure the whole process would go pretty quickly, maybe only 2 or 3 hours.

So I came to the window and met sweet Sheila, a fellow civil servant, who, without greeting me or even looking up, snatched my paperwork and began scanning it. She seemed very efficient so I didn’t mind that she came off a little abrupt and crabby. Underneath her rough exterior I knew she just wanted to make the best use of my time and get me out the DMV expeditiously.

And so the our conversation unfolded thusly,
Sheila- Did you bring two pieces of mail since you moved to a new address?
Robierto- No, I called and reported my address change to the DMV, so you should already have my new address.
Sheila- I am going to need two pieces of mail to get your new address.
Robierto- Sweet Sheila, you already have my new address. You sent me this letter (holding up the letter I received directly from DMV) at my new address telling me to come and renew my license, so it should be in the system already. So…
Sheila- Sorry sir, according to policy I need you to bring two pieces of mail with you.
Robierto- Oh Sheila, you have my address. It’s in the system because you mailed me my renewal letter to my new address. Can you just…um…look in the system…I am sure if you look…
Sheila- Sir, I am going to need you to stop crying and come back with two pieces of mail with your current address.

And so we danced, she insisting of on my bringing back two pieces of mail, and I pleading not to have to come back to the DMV.

So in the end we both agreed, well mostly she agreed, that I would need to return the following day with two pieces of mail.

I am super excited to meet with Sheila again today.  Because I will be bringing her a 50 pound bag of mail with my new address on it for her to verify, well I should say two pieces of mail and 50 pounds of rocks.

Love the care I receive at the DMV! LOVE IT!

So I just got back from the the DMV, and friends I have such news.
So I still had to wait in line for 30 minutes with my two letters to verify my new address with Sheila.
But Sheila was busy yelling at another crying customer, so I when to another, kinder worker named Brad.
So as soon as I got to the counter I gave Brad my two letters to verify my new address and he said, "Rob I don't need these, your new address is already in the system."
THANK YOU BRAD! In your face Sheila.