Friday, June 15, 2012

THE DMV IS MY FAVORITE!


What is it about the DMV that I love?

Is it the wonderful potpourri of smells? A subtle mix of body odor, second hand smoke, and just a hint of poopy diaper.

Is it the breath taking gallery of body art that is on display by people wearing tube and tank tops?

Or is it the line you wait in for 45 minutes, to receive a number so you can wait in another line for another 45 minutes?

Probably, my favorite reason for going to the DMV is the quality of customer service and care I receive from the staff there.

For example, my recent experience at the DMV was a classic example of public service at its finest. 

I had received a letter from the DMV that I needed to renew my license in person, since for the past 20 years I have been carrying around the driver’s license I had in high school. Sure I look great, but I have to be honest, it hasn’t been to my advantage when they check my ID when I go clubbing on the weekends. So I was excited to get the photo updated ASAP.

So after, for what seemed like days waiting in line, and seeing many people turned away because they did not bring the proper documentation to receive their license renewal, I finally arrived to the renewal portal.

Friends, I felt so confident with my renewal situation because I had read through the instructions that were mailed to me. I had my Driver’s License, my social security card, my birth certificate, and I even brought my proof of insurance just for good measure. I was pretty sure the whole process would go pretty quickly, maybe only 2 or 3 hours.

So I came to the window and met sweet Sheila, a fellow civil servant, who, without greeting me or even looking up, snatched my paperwork and began scanning it. She seemed very efficient so I didn’t mind that she came off a little abrupt and crabby. Underneath her rough exterior I knew she just wanted to make the best use of my time and get me out the DMV expeditiously.

And so the our conversation unfolded thusly,
Sheila- Did you bring two pieces of mail since you moved to a new address?
Robierto- No, I called and reported my address change to the DMV, so you should already have my new address.
Sheila- I am going to need two pieces of mail to get your new address.
Robierto- Sweet Sheila, you already have my new address. You sent me this letter (holding up the letter I received directly from DMV) at my new address telling me to come and renew my license, so it should be in the system already. So…
Sheila- Sorry sir, according to policy I need you to bring two pieces of mail with you.
Robierto- Oh Sheila, you have my address. It’s in the system because you mailed me my renewal letter to my new address. Can you just…um…look in the system…I am sure if you look…
Sheila- Sir, I am going to need you to stop crying and come back with two pieces of mail with your current address.

And so we danced, she insisting of on my bringing back two pieces of mail, and I pleading not to have to come back to the DMV.

So in the end we both agreed, well mostly she agreed, that I would need to return the following day with two pieces of mail.

I am super excited to meet with Sheila again today.  Because I will be bringing her a 50 pound bag of mail with my new address on it for her to verify, well I should say two pieces of mail and 50 pounds of rocks.

Love the care I receive at the DMV! LOVE IT!

FOLLOW UP:
So I just got back from the the DMV, and friends I have such news.
So I still had to wait in line for 30 minutes with my two letters to verify my new address with Sheila.
But Sheila was busy yelling at another crying customer, so I when to another, kinder worker named Brad.
So as soon as I got to the counter I gave Brad my two letters to verify my new address and he said, "Rob I don't need these, your new address is already in the system."
THANK YOU BRAD! In your face Sheila.

8 comments:

ldhelwel said...

Oh Robierto! Wow, I haven't laughed that hard in ages. I'm still imagining sweet Sheilla as she greets you today, how she is looking forward to processing your request and helping you be on your way. Oh, and I think she will definitely appreciate the 50 pound bag of rocks. Do you know expensive those are? Sweet, sweet, Sheilla.

Wendy said...

Oh Rob, I feel your pain. My license expired on my birthday which is January 10th. It was the very year they started requiring all of this scanning nonsense. Needless to say, they had NOT worked out the "kinks".

I visited THREE different DMV's a total of FOUR times waiting approximately FOUR hours each time. All four times I waited an hour and a half to receive a yellow STAND BY number. Three times the DMV closed before they got to my number.

Your description of the potpourri of smells was spot on! Luckily nasal fatigue sets in after the first couple of hours. Fortunately my experience with the staff was opposite of yours.

My friend, who's name have tried to forget along with this entire traumatic event, was pleasant. She gave me my stand-by number with a genuine, "good luck!"

Some time during my extended stay in the waiting area (which was more like The Price is Right auditorium due to the excitement people couldn't contain when their number was called) there was a shift change.

My good friend was miraculously the one who called my number. We were both so excited that I finally made it, if there wouldn't have been that huge desk between us I'm SURE we would have done a jump circle!

The range of emotions was almost too much for me to handle. I had to go directly home and lay down with a cool cloth on my head. Reliving has had the same affect. Gotta go lay down...

Good times...good times.

Taylor Davies said...

Rob, my drudging days at work are always lifted when I read your blog. Hope all is well!

Carrot Jello said...

Like I always say what's good for the gaze
Is always good for the camera
Oh, Sheila

Jana B. said...

Go Brad! I am going to request him next time I go to the DMV.

Stephanie Abney said...

You're such fun, Rob. AND quite the accurate (and funny) observer of life! Hope you have a SPLENDID birthday today!!

Love ya',
Aunt Stephanie

Heidi said...

My birth certificate is on what amounts to old fax paper--the shiny stuff that used to come on a roll? Yeah. That. Also, I won't tell to you about how I was in and out of the DMV in less than 30 minutes and made it to work on time. Because that might make you angry and I'm afraid you'd bring me 50 pounds of rocks.

Jill said...

Is it wrong for me to wish poor fortune upon you because you share it with us in such a humorous manner?