Showing posts from January, 2010

The Sledding Incident

I don’t know if it’s just me, but as I have gotten older activities that used to thrill me as a child have now become absolutely terrifying. Activities like skiing, swimming in the ocean, and sledding make me fear for my very life.So, I went sledding this weekend, that’s right sledding, with some friends up by Bear Lake. As we drove up the canyon with our sleds and tubes I began to feel a little nervous, but I was trying to be brave and make a good impression in front of my friends.I got to the top of the hill and sat on my sled determined not to procrastinate this challenge any longer. So, about twenty minutes later I lifted my heals out of the frozen ground and started my descent. As I started down, my fear got the best of me. that is when the flailing of the arms…ok, and my legs, began. Come to find out you can’t create enough wind resistance to slow yourself down just by waving your arms and legs against the wind. Lesson learned friends, lesson learned.Then I thought if I just dig…

The Hidden Talent

Do you know what saddens me more than anything? That most people will never know what a great lip syncher I am.
I am never as free with my skills as when I am in my own bedroom, jamming out in front of my full sized mirror, with my lamp shade turned on it's side to form a make shift spotlight, performing Michael Jackson's "Blame it On the Boogie", or High School Musicals "We're All In This Together".
What frustrates me the most is that it's not like you can go out and search for opportunities to share this talent, because they seemed to be reserved for youth groups and family reunions.
I tried to just show up last week for the Youth Activity at church with my ghetto blaster and sequin pants, but they kindly asked me to leave. "Let me thrill you with the power of my lip sync", I yelled as they dragged me out of the building. But they were having none of it.
So if any one knows of any venues that are open to some quality lip syncing please let …

The Standoff

For those who have read my blog before you know I have some issues using public toilets. If anyone talks to me, makes any sudden movements, or puts any undue pressure on me, my bowels lock up and I am forced to use a man’s version of Lamaze to get what I need to done in there.So yesterday you can imagine my delight to walk into the bathroom and notice that I had the whole place to myself. I chose my favorite stall and sat down for a nice relaxing stay.As soon as I sat down however, the janitor entered and started refilling all the toilet paper, and paper towel dispensers.I was a little anxious with all his opening and shutting of the paper towel dispensers and hoisting those cheese wheel sized reams of TP into their proper place. But with the help of some deep cleansing breaths I was able to gain control without “locking up”. I just kept reminding myself that after he was done he would leave and I could go about my business.But friends, he didn’t leave. He just stood in front of my st…