The Blind "Blind Date"
I love blind dates. They are my preferred method of meeting people.
False.
I hate this medium of dating. It is terrible and needs to be stopped immediately.
People try to set me up on blind dates all the time and they have come to find that I am no longer subscribing to that method of social interactions, as it never ends well for me and I am pretty sure it is a major cause to my irritable bowel syndrome, or IB as I like to call it.
But my friends have found a cleaver loop hole which I like to call the blind, blind date.
It goes a little something like this. My friend will invite me over for, let's say a BBQ. They tell me, "We haven't seen you for a long time and would love to have you come over and catch up. You are such an amazing human being and would love to have your influence in and around our children."
How could I not pass up free food and such flattery.
So I show up with the expectation of spending some quality time with friends, when out of the corner of my eye, I notice a girl who seems. strangely out of place. Did my friend get a maid or a foreign exchange student?
But then at dinner I find that she is situated right by me, at our own table, with a candelabra under a tree, placed ten feet from all the other guests.
And this beautiful young lady looked into my eyes and we knew we would never be separated from this moment on.
FALSE.
We looked into each others eyes and realized that we got played by our friends. Come to find out they told her the same thing about how she was coming to a BBQ just with this family and didn't realize I would be her intended love connection for the night.
So instead of continuing our conversation we sat in awkward silence the rest of the night. "Stickin' it to the Man" if you will.
We showed them. We did the exact opposite of what they wanted and didn't even get to know each other and left the party early and both ended up watching Netflix alone in our separate homes.
Yeah, I think we showed them.
False.
I hate this medium of dating. It is terrible and needs to be stopped immediately.
People try to set me up on blind dates all the time and they have come to find that I am no longer subscribing to that method of social interactions, as it never ends well for me and I am pretty sure it is a major cause to my irritable bowel syndrome, or IB as I like to call it.
But my friends have found a cleaver loop hole which I like to call the blind, blind date.
It goes a little something like this. My friend will invite me over for, let's say a BBQ. They tell me, "We haven't seen you for a long time and would love to have you come over and catch up. You are such an amazing human being and would love to have your influence in and around our children."
How could I not pass up free food and such flattery.
So I show up with the expectation of spending some quality time with friends, when out of the corner of my eye, I notice a girl who seems. strangely out of place. Did my friend get a maid or a foreign exchange student?
But then at dinner I find that she is situated right by me, at our own table, with a candelabra under a tree, placed ten feet from all the other guests.
And this beautiful young lady looked into my eyes and we knew we would never be separated from this moment on.
FALSE.
We looked into each others eyes and realized that we got played by our friends. Come to find out they told her the same thing about how she was coming to a BBQ just with this family and didn't realize I would be her intended love connection for the night.
So instead of continuing our conversation we sat in awkward silence the rest of the night. "Stickin' it to the Man" if you will.
We showed them. We did the exact opposite of what they wanted and didn't even get to know each other and left the party early and both ended up watching Netflix alone in our separate homes.
Yeah, I think we showed them.
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