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Showing posts from May, 2010

The Awkward Re-run

Do you ever go over ta' the Wal-Mart to do some “roll-back” shoppin'”? It is my least favorite activity of the entire week, but you have to eat, so you go and crack it out. So last night almongst the bitter grapes in the Wal-mart produce aisle I ran into my neighbor, who I know sort of, but not really. So we just made idle chit-chat and shared some obligatory pleasentries, and then I finished with, “ It was good talking to you. I will see you later. ” But as I was walking down the next aisle, who did I see? My neighbor walking towards me. I didn’t realize that when I said I would see him later it would be two seconds later. What do you say? It’s not like I hated the guy but I had already finished up our last conversation and I didn’t have any fresh new material to talk to him about. So I just said the first thing that popped into my head, “ Heeeeeey neighbor. Didn’t I just see you? Ha-ha! Alright we’ll talk to you later. ” And then I quickly got out of there, and move...

The Reception Line

Spring is in the air friends, and as such people are falling in love and getting married. What does that means for you and I? It means a whole boat load of receptions we get to attend. Hooray ( with my voice going doing at the end ). And oh that dreaded reception line. I really don’t mind receptions so much, but oh that line ! So I was at my cousins wedding over the weekend and stood in the line waiting for my turn to give my congratulations to the happy couple. May be I have a touch of social anxiety because talking to perfect strangers in a reception line makes me terribly uncomfortable. So I planned a head and wrote down some potential conversation starters on 3x5 cards just in case I ran out of things to say. The line was moving so smoothly. I stopped and talked to my aunt and uncle, and then moved to the groom’s parents, who I didn’t know. I shook their hands and said the obligatory “congratulations” and “so nice to meet you” and didn’t even have to whip out my 3x5 cards. ...

The Weepy Barber

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So yesterday I went to get my hair cut, down to “Hair-a-dise City”. I was in a desperate need of a crew cut, stat. So I showed up only to realize that there were four other guys also in need a solid crew cut to start spring, so I braced myself for a wait. As I was waiting for my “crew” to be “cut”, one of the ladies, who was cutting a little girls hair at the time, received a phone call, so naturally I eavesdropped on her conversation. I couldn’t really hear the whole conversation over the cutting shears, but here is the jest of her conversation: “Hello, this is Hair-a-dise City, where the grass is green and your hair is pretty. How may I help you?” “Yeah” “OK. Bye” And that’s when the tears started. I don't know what was said on the other side of that phone but this girl didn't get “misty”, we are talking full on tears, with little gasps in between them. So, all five of us reacted as most men do when a female cries, fained like we were a sleep or acted like we ...