Do you ever go over ta' the Wal-Mart to do some “roll-back” shoppin'”? It is my least favorite activity of the entire week, but you have to eat, so you go and crack it out.
So last night almongst the bitter grapes in the Wal-mart produce aisle I ran into my neighbor, who I know sort of, but not really. So we just made idle chit-chat and shared some obligatory pleasentries, and then I finished with, “It was good talking to you. I will see you later.”
But as I was walking down the next aisle, who did I see? My neighbor walking towards me. I didn’t realize that when I said I would see him later it would be two seconds later.
What do you say? It’s not like I hated the guy but I had already finished up our last conversation and I didn’t have any fresh new material to talk to him about. So I just said the first thing that popped into my head,
“Heeeeeey neighbor. Didn’t I just see you? Ha-ha! Alright we’ll talk to you later.”
And then I quickly got out of there, and moved three aisles ahead of him so this awkwardness wouldn’t continue.
So, there I was in the toilet paper aisle, squeezing me some Charmin Ultra (which, by the way, if you haven’t tried it, is a little piece of heaven on your blind side) when I run into my neighbor again. So, my heart is pounding and I just want to run the opposite way with my cart. But I am a grown up, so through a strained smile, I do the pretend “punch in the stomach” and say, “I keep running into you!”. And then I bolt with my cart and run five aisles ahead of him.
I don’t know if we had identical shopping lists but I sware I ran into him like three more times. So by the fifth "run in", the situation has gotten so awkward, that when we saw each other heading down the same aisle toward each other we didn't even make eye contact, and pretended we were complete strangers, even though we are trying to figure out the social etiquette to alleviate these awkward feelings we both were experiencing.
So I finally, I had to actually take a time out because the whole situation has gotten out of control. I actually hid in a clothing rack until I could see he was finished with his shopping, so I could finish mine.
And I just want to say here, my neighbor isn’t a bad person, he is good people, but it’s the situation that is so awkward. It’s talking to someone, actually giving them a farewell or a “we should get together for lunch” and then rounding the corner and seeing them again…and again…and again.
Why is that so awkward? I am not sure, but it usually sends my feelings of social anxiety through the roof!
So finally, I get my shopping done, drive home, pull into my parking stall and start unloading my groceries, and you’ll never believe who pulled in right next to me.
(dedicated to Molly-Noooo)
(dedicated to Molly-Noooo)