The Days and Nights of Robierto

It's October 28th or as my co-workers call it " Bring Your Slanket To Work " Day. I hope they weren't kidding or I could look pretty foolish today.

Is it possible that “ Dickys ” aren’t as popular as I think they are? My co-worker came into my office today and said, “ You look nice in your turtleneck/Halloween sweater combination ." Whereupon I told her, “ First of all, stop hitting on me. And secondly, it is still too warm to wear both a turtle neck and sweater. So I am wearing a “ Dicky ” in lieu of a turtleneck. ” To which she asked, “ What is a “ Dicky? ” And I was all, like, “ Really? Only the greatest invention of our time! ” So for those who have been living under a rock the past, oh I don’t know, like 20 years. A “ Dicky ” or, “ Dickay ” as they say it in France, is a shirt with no sleeves or a body, just a collar, or a neck…if we are talking along the lines of turtle necks. All you ladies who are looking for a great gift for you husband, lover, or significant other…the “Dicky” is the answer for you! They are cheap, look good in summer or winter. And because they come in a wide variety of colors they make a lovely ...

Do you know what is hard? Finding some pants at Costco that could potentially be the pants that will look so good that you will get that promotion, find a girlfriend, and get a photo spread on INtouch magazines “Who Wore it Best? page” But really, you can only get a general idea of how they fit by holding them up and trying them on over your Levis. If Costco is going to sell clothes shouldn’t they also provide us place where we can try on said clothes? Why aren’t there dressing rooms in Costco, friends? What? Do they anticipate that we are all wearing Lycra Spandex as we are shopping and can just slide pants on and off? First, of all I don’t think that Lycra Spandex is   a good look for anyone. And secondly, as I painfully found out last winter, once it gets cold in Utah, Lycra Spandex, is not very practical.   I guess you could pile up some bulk sized cereal boxes and make a little wall of privacy for yourself, and then hold up a gynormous frying pan to see how they fit. ...

Remember when you watched, “ It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown ” as a child and you thought it was an alright cartoon, it was no Loony Tunes, but it was at least watchable. Last night I had an occasion to watch “ It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown ” and as an adult, I have some strong concerns about these kids in the Peanuts cartoons. What is with Charlie Brown? I don’t know if anyone followed his life after his little stint with the “Peanuts” gang, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed himself around the age of 14. Everyone picks on him, he can’t even make a good ghost costume, and when everyone else gets buckets of candy whalst out trick-or-treating, his friendly neighbors give him Rocks. Rocks? Really? Is that how we treat a child with low self-esteem, by giving him rocks instead of candy? If I was Charlie Brown, I would have come back in the night and returned all those rocks through their windows. And what is with this Lucy? She’s a JERK, with a capital “J”,...

Remember that time when my co-worker and I wore the same outfit to work? What can I say, we have great taste.  But why is she shopping in the men’s department at Eddie Bauer… or am I shopping in the women’s department?  It’s hard to say really, But who cares when we both look so darn fabulous! ( Forgive the pose. We both look like we are going to our office sponsored Sadie Hawkins dance. )