The Eyebrow Trim

So those who don't know me, I don’t like to be touched.  So getting a hair cut is a very painful experience because it combines two things I hate:

1.       Talking to strangers
2.       Being touched my strangers

So  yesterday, I went down to Hair-i-dise City to get my hair cut by a women named Brad. Now Brad loves her body art, and yes, as you might imagine, has a tatoo of a hair dyer on her upper arm.

So as soon as I sit down, she started running her fingers through my hair, and asking me things like how I wanted my hair cut, how long I had been going bald,  and if she could give me a shampoo after.
And there I was thinking, "This just got way too intimate, way too quickly."

So there she was, just a buzzin’ my hair, talkin’ about her body art and her friend Sharpay who left her husband for a bouncer, down at Port-a-Call. And then  suddenly, and without warning I see the buzzers coming at my eyes and with a quick “buzz”, “buzz” she trimmed my eyebrows, and then went right back to telling me about Sharpay’s new boyfriend.

I was in shocked. What just happened?,

 I acted normal on the outside, but inside I was like, “Brad, what the Sam are you doing? You don’t come near someones “eye holes” with a rapidly moving sharp object. This face is my money maker. You stay up top. That is your home base, don’t deviate from that area.”

And when is trimming someones eyebrows part of the regular hair cut routine? Is that standard now or was Brad doing her own thing?

I know I have one or two hairs jetting out of my eyebrows that are like, I don't know, seven inches long. But I am a man, and as such I will take care of them the old fashioned way...with a pair of rusty tweezers that I found in the bathroom drawer. Thank you.


Heidi said…
By "rusty tweezers" do you mean "old pliers"? By "in the bathroom drawer" do you mean "in the ditch by your house"?

I submit that maybe you do.
Carrot Jello said…
You keep growing those eyebrows out and you could have a "comb up". Balding problem, solved.
Jill said…
Rob, would you feel awkward if Mike and I followed you around and watched you live your life? And would it be ok if we brought some popcorn? Thanks.

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