The Inadvertent Maturation Talk

So the last couple of weeks I have been teaching at a summer camp for kids called “theater school”.

Yesterday, I had an experience that may have barred me, unintentionally, from theater school “for corrupting the minds of young children.

So there I was, trying to maintain my class full of 10 year old girls, as I was trying to teach the blocking for the song “Popular” from the musical Wicked.

You might be asking yourself, Robierto, why is a 38 year old man teaching 10 year old girls one of the most prissy and girly songs in all of musical theater?” 

Oh friend, that is a great question. A question that has made me wonder what kind of a vibe I give off, for the director to think, " Do you know who be excellent at teaching little girls how to be prissy, girly-girls? Robierto. He would be great at that!"

But there I was, trying to get their attention so I could give them some notes, because they were so excited to run their scene, again.

In mind I wanted to say, “I need your attention girls. Give me a sec.”

But what came out of my mouth was, “I need some secs.” Meaning,  "I would like some time from  you sweet children to explain how to do this scene better." That makes sense right?

But then I replayed what just came out of my mouth and realized what was actually heard was, “I need some sex.”

So I froze.  

Everyone turned to look at me.

I knew that what I did in the next second would determine how this would go over.

My face was turning red, and my fight and flight response started kicking in.

“Should I just run out of the room?” I thought.

No. That would draw attention to the fact that something was wrong.

So I just figured, "Robierto, they are 10 year old girls they don’t know about sex. Just keep going and they won’t even notice."

So I stuck with my plan, and while blushing, I continued on with the class.

As I left my class I thought, “Robierto, you are a genius. A lesser man would have crumbled under the pressure, but not you, because you are so good, nay, you are so great!”

At the point, a parent approached and said, “I heard you told your class you need some sex.”

I am thinking today I will be asked to turn in my turquoise theater school t-shirt…or be assigned to teach the middle age theater school, where they are teaching “Chicago” / “Rent” classes.