The Life Saver Spark

So my coworkers were talking yesterday about fun things to do on a date. I chimed in saying that if you turn the lights out and bite into wintergreen Life Saver it will spark. A random thought I know, but none of them believed that this would actually work.

So I pulled all eight of them into my office to prove to them it was true.

Let me pause here to say my office is the size of closet and can fit possibly four very slender people comfortably. So all eight of us packed into my office was a pretty tight, fit even for the very slimmest among us.

So I turned out the lights and I told them to look directly into my mouth. So now, not only are we crammed in my office/closet, all their faces are inches away from my face, and we are standing in the dark.

Do you know what would be really awkward to have happen around this time?
Oh, to have my boss what in.  
Guess who comes walking into my office right when I bite down on my Life Saver?
My boss.

Now my boss and I have shared some awkward moments in the past, lest, we forget the terribly embarrassing Electric Slide” incident about two months ago. So, as soon as I saw the light from the door opening, slicing the blackness of our tightly gathered Lifesaver experience, I knew great awkwardness was about to ensue.

So…um…what are you guys doing?” my boss asked.
Well that’s a stupid question. Isn’t obvious what we are doing in the dark with everyone looking into my mouth. The question you should be asking yourself is why you aren’t in here with us having a great time.” I replied to myself, thinking this might have been a funnier way to address the awkwardness instead of what actually occurred.

We all just stood there. No one moved. I think we collectively thought that if we just held still he wouldn’t be able to see us. That didn’t work quit like it did when we were kids. So we all slowly melted out of our poses and all my co-worker left me with my boss staring at me.

All I could say was, “Would you…ah… like a Life Saver?

Needless to say, I may be out of the job any day now.

So if anyone needs someone to teach line dancing or fun games you can play in the dark, you let me know.  I will be awaiting your call.

Comments

Carrot Jello said…
At least you weren't wearing lipstick when he walked in. Yours, or anyone else's.
Marilyn Abney said…
Are you for real? Did that really happen? Dad just said he can take comfort in the fact that he didn't teach you that! Ah, either did I, did I? Good luck on the job search, Rob!
Megann said…
Your co-workers must have fabulous dinner stories about you every single day, although I'm sensing a pattern with you and your awkward experiences in closets with groups of people.
Mr Abney,
I may be outing you on your blog or completely fabricating this memory but I do believe that there was a similar conversation that happened your senior year of high school at my house. So what did we do? we bought a few packs of life savers and closed the bathroom door to try it out.
I do believe my grandmother found you, me, Adrian and Eric Christensen huddled in the dark bathroom testing the theory.
She was scandalized, poor grandma. If only she had known how well behaved we really were.
Jana B. said…
This story is so funny, i am shaking with laughter in the law library right now and the students around me are acting flustered by my disruption. So FUNNY! Oh my goodness.
Nathan said…
I think I'm going to try this and cross my fingers that my boss will do the same thing.

I'd love to see her face when she opens the door.

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