The Social Office Mate

Do you ever wonder if people are socially retarded?

I have this woman at work who stops by, and after she is done with her business she just sits in my office.

So, when I say “office” you are going to think of a room with a large desk in it with chairs in front to consult with people. But when I say “office” I mean a broom closet with a two chairs that are almost touching.

So as we sit there, knee to knee in absolute silence, I ask, “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

No.” She replies.

And then she sits there in silence looking at me.

So what do I do?
 I am very adverse to silence when two people are sitting so close together and I start to sweat and my heart starts a poundin’. What does this women want with me?

Alright then…great! Um…so. Great!”

Still, she sits there with no response.

She obviously is not aware of verbal cues, so I switched to non-verbal cues. I start shuffling papers around my desk and sighing heavily (P.S. this technique also works very well for when your boss walks by your office to see if you have enough to do. It makes you look really busy. Give it a try.)

And…nothing. She still just sits across from me smiling.

Finally, out of desperation I pretended someone is calling me and shout, “Um, what? Oh, oh-kay, I am coming” and run out of my office to go and hide in the bathroom where I am safe from this anxious situation.

Someone might want to go check on this sweet lady. For all I know she is still in my office just smiling at the wall.

People are so weird

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Comments

Heidi said…
I think she LOOOOOVES you. I think this because, well, I have a following of little student friends at work who just come into the office to hang out and have awkward conversations with me.

Good luck with that.

At least she's not borderline obsessed with Bela Lugosi.
LisAway said…
Did the coolness of the tile take away all the stress of that encounter? I sincerely hope so.

Yikes.
Nathan said…
I'm beginning to think every office has one of these.

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