Friday, April 8, 2011

The Peter Pan Mishap

Here is a cautionary tale of the dangers of falling in love within the walls of the theater.

Once upon a time there was a young, up and coming actress by the name of Veronica. She thrilled when she saw the news that her local community theater was putting on Peter Pan, or for those of you who speak Spanish, Pedro Pan.

She was determined to be cast in the role as Peter, and she didn’t care who she had to hurt or kill to make her dream a reality.

Enter one Hank, a lowly stage hand, who never had a women show any interest in him at all. He spent his nights designing sets and figuring out how to get the pulley system to work so he could make people appear to fly during the upcoming production of Peter Pan.

Veronica knew that if she could use her feminine charms to seduce Hank, she was sure he could make it possible for her to be cast as Peter Pan. Little did Hank know that Veronica was just using him to get her Ethel Merman sized voice on the stage.

Well her plan worked and after many a night whispering “sweet nothings” in Hank’s ear, Hank used his stage hand influence and got the director to cast Veronica as the lovable Peter Pan.

But, as is often the way in these tales, Veronica turned her Peggy Fleming hair and attentions towards the man cast as Captain Hook, a man whom we shall call, Ramone. And she began cheating on Hank with latin born, Ramone. While Hank was out training Michael and John how to fly, Veronica was making out with Ramone in her dressing room.

Meanwhile, Hank was still enamored with Veronica and thought that their romance would last long after the show was over (which, by the way, is rare in the theater world).  

On opening night Hank thought he would surprise Veronica with flowers and a poem he had written, which wasn’t very good, but he thought if there was a lull in the conversation he could break it out.

As he opened her dressing room door, he was shocked to see Veronica eating grapes off of Ramone’s prop Hook.

Hank, as any good thespian would do, screamed like a girl, and made a spectacle of himself by crying loudly and tearing at his clothes.

But then a thought arose in Hank’s mind, a thought so dark, and so ugly that it made a Shakespeare tragedy look like an after school special. The wheels in his head starting turning, the dark and greasy wheels of revenge overcame him.

What if something were to happen to Veronica’s cable while she was flying tonight?” He asked in a sinister voice.

Well friends, this is what the audience saw as Veronica took to the skies as Peter Pan…



Here are some hilarious Peter Pan mishaps that I think are hilarious. Be careful when you dream "happy thought" you could fly right out of your bed.


Sometimes people get so angry when the director casts his own daughter as a lead...

2 comments:

Heidi said...

"Hank, as any good thespian would do, screamed like a girl, and made a spectacle of himself by crying loudly and tearing at his clothes."

Maybe I've done too much theatre, but THAT had me almost in tears from laughter.

Thank you on this gloomy Friday.

Katie Riggs Hansen said...

I am speechless. Good thing I have fingers.

1. I swear most of these videos were taken of the National Tour I was on. I had never thought that our accident prone Peter Pan was the product of an angry fly master, with whom Peter was carrying on a torrid love affair. This tale offers so much insight.

2. I met my husband inside the hallowed walls of the theater. He a rigger, I a stage manager. We found true love that no one thought would last.
May the theater Gods shine down on Hank and his broken heart.