Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The C02 Leak


So I had a really scary thing happen to me over the weekend that changed me in a deep and profound way for at least 5 hours.

Friday night before I went to be bed I partied and had a Coke. A beverage I don’t drink very often, so when I do drink it I get the “shakes” and can’t sleep for days.

So Saturday morning at 4:00 am my smoke alarm starts beeping. So I checked my house and nothing was on fire or smoldering (unless you count that smokin’ hot tall guy with the Coke hangover and pajama bottoms).

So I looked on my smoke alarm and my CO2 light was flashing. So I rushed around my house and opened all my doors and windows to get out this C02 that was infiltrating my house. (I don’t really know what C02 is…but isn’t the stuff that makes Coke fizzy. How could that be bad for you?

I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t and my C02 alarm kept beeping. So I decided to do what any brave man would, I evacuated my house and called my father. He said that I needed to call the fire department and have them come over to check my house.

So reluctantly, I called the fire department and they said they would send someone over to inspect my house. So I am thinking some guy in a Honda Civic with a little C02 instrument will come and just do a little walk through of my house to see if everything is OK.

So I sat on my stoop, yes stoop, to wait for this little man to appear in his Honda Civic. But much to my dismay a Civic didn’t pull up to my house, but a full on fire truck with lights and sirens. Immediately three firemen, in full uniform by the way, came bounding up my stairs, running through my house looking for C02 and to see if I was still alive.

They didn’t find anything and then one of them asked me, “So why did you think you had a C02 leak again?” I told them about how I had a Coke and I was a little “shaky” to begin with, and that my fire alarm was beeping and the light said that C02 was leaking into my house.

So the fireman reached up, pulled down my fire alarm, looked at it and said matter of factly, “Your fire alarm is beeping because your battery needs to be changed. So you are not going to die of C02 poisoning. OK?”

I guess the real moral here kids, is that it might be better to die of C02 poisoning than to die of the embarrassment of having the fire department come to your home to tell you that you need to change your battery in your fire alarm.

I blame the Coke. 

6 comments:

j said...

Just to save you any future embarrassment, I think I should tell you its just CO. (Carbon MON-oxide, as opposed to Carbon DI-oxide). C02 is all around us in the air all the time.

Mike B said...

Ha ha....sorry to laugh but this is awesome. There is nothing wrong with being a safety kid! Thanks for sharing your "deep and profound" moments of life with us. :) Jill

Tricky Nicky said...

This is probably one of the best things I've ever heard.

kmb said...

I love this... mainly because the EXACT same thing happened to Mitch! Fire trucks and everything to find out we don't even have CO detectors. Just smoke alarms with bad batteries!

Heidi said...

The heat sensor in our smoke alarm is really sensitive--the thing goes off when I IRON. At least it works, right?

Carrot Jello said...

I think it's time you checked yourself into some sort of treatment facility.