The Fanny Pack: Never Say Die

Remember in the 80’s when the Fanny Pack burst on the scene? It seemed to be the answer to so many of our problems, including bringing needed peace after the “cola wars” had turned violent in the streets of LA.

In the eighties things were so much bigger, weren’t they, so it really was a necessity to have a Fanny Pack. Phones were the size of brinks, walkmans were the size of a hard back book, and we all had to have two or three neon shirts on our person at all times just in case one got ruined or your best friend was wearing the same color as you (which happened all to often to this neon loving fool.)

But now in this day and age when everything is so small and sleek shouldn’t we be able to hold it all in our pockets or European carry all? Really no one should be wearing a Fanny Pack at all any more. Right?

I bring this up because in the last hour, as I took a break, I saw two employees of the County, that’s right; count them, two employees wearing Fanny Packs.

Now friends, I am not a fashion or accessories expert, but I think the Fanny Pack has had its day and is officially out of date. Now if you are a tourist I give you a little slack because you are justified in carrying a lot of stuff with you at one time. But people, who wears a Fanny Pack to work? Come on, really?

And it really begs the question what do these men have to carry around with them that requires the use of a Fanny Pack? Are they carrying their tools, Game Boys, snacks, or other sundry items with them? It’s hard to say really without throwing them up against the wall and doing a Fanny Pack search. (Which may be coming in the near future if I have anything to do with some policy changes around here.)

Let’s reach out a hand to our slow fashion brothers and sisters and introduce them to such items as purses and/or backpacks so they can release that wieght on their hips that only a Fanny Pack can bring.


Kimi D said…
You're just jealous.
DAvID R. said…
Wait, don't you own a Slanket? just saying.....
Never, never, NEVER support the fanny pack!!!!!!

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