The Swimming Incident

Remember that time when I signed up to do a triathlon and failed to realize how much training it would entail to accomplish this goal without dying?

Last night I went to the pool to swim what seemed like, oh I don’t know like 1000 laps. I came walking out of the locker room in my speedo (not the underwear kind but the modest to the knee number. I am not quite ready to show that much leg at the pool.), swim cap, and aerodynamic goggles, so naturally everyone expects great things from me because I look like, ya know, a professional swimmer. I appear, to the untrained eye, something like a balding, not as fit, Michael Phelps cutting through the water at amazing rates of speed.

I dive in, swim my first lap and just feel great. The water felt cool in the hot summer sun and I seemed to be gliding through the water like a dolphin swabbed with baby oil. And then the burning started.

After I did a flip turn I realized that my arms lack the muscle strenth to propel me through the water, my lungs were not taking in air, and my speedo had slid down just a tich (Friends make sure you cinch that waist band good and tight on your speedo or you might be giving your fellow swimmers a little “show” they don’t really want to see).

So with one hand I was trying to fix the wardrobe malfunction below, with the other hand I tried to paddle to keep my buoyancy, while still trying to take gulps of air between every mouth full of water. It all just became too much. So finally I just stopped mid-stroke and walked back to the other side of the wall.

So, needless to say, I didn’t leave quite the impression I wanted at the pool.

Better luck tomorrow. This time I think I will wear a snorkel mask and cargo shorts, that way there is no real expectation to live up to.


Sara White said…
Snorkel and mask....why didn't I think of that for swimming laps? What triathlon are you doing?
Megs said…
Robbie, that is like the most basic rule of thumb when showing up to a new place. Keep the expectation low!! Rookie mistake.
We just moved into a new ward and we are only going about 50 % of the time so that when we start going full time they will think we have made such great strides. Plus it keeps you out of the hard callings for awhile.
Just kidding but you get the idea :)
Oh, I'm so proud of you!!! My first attempt at training for a triathalon (it's going to happen one day) brought me oh, so many fun experiences at the local swimming pool. It's amazing what you see at 5:30 in the morning.
Jana B. said…
rob, i am so glad that i found your blog. i have heard great reviews, and i this post is no exception. i look forward to great reading. hooray!
Rachel K said…
I, too, love this blog.

Popular posts from this blog

The Great Pumpkin As An Adult

The Elder's Quorum Lesson

The Wonder Women Transportation Problem

The Toilet Paper Decision


The Party Great Escape