The Incredible Exploding Egg

Do you ever start out your morning by saying, “Rob you’re a genius!

That is how I began my morning today. It is rare that I start the day this way but friends I was feeling incredibly inventive.

I have been really busy lately because of work and I am also in a play at night so finding time to eat has been a bit of a problem.

So this morning I woke up early and said I am going to make some hard boiled eggs so that I can just pop them in my mouth while I am on the go. It is good protein and I can gag them down with water.

Let me pause here to say I don’t love eggs. I eat them for the protein but I usually have to plug my nose and shimmy them down. Sometimes eggs trigger my gag reflex which is really embarrassing for how many times I have ordered eggs on a date.

I was running low on time so I thought why not just boil them in the microwave? Again, Rob Abney you are genius.

So after about, oh, I don’t know, eight minutes basking in my own greatness, the explosions started.

I am not talking about little “booms” here friends; I am talking about full on “someone is throwing grenades into my house” type of explosions.

So needless to say after a half an hour of using a sand shovel to dig yoke out of my microwave I feel sufficiently humbled.

Apparently I missed the day in Home Economics when we covered such topics as “Boiling an Egg: Doing It in the Microwave Could In Fact Kill You”.

The worse part of this whole thing is that now my entire house smells like egg poop. I was dry heaving all morning.

Technology: She is a bitter mistress.

Comments

emi-jo said…
i'm near tears, i'm laughing so hard!!!...
Heidi said…
I took Home Ec, and we didn't cover this at ALL. But I think we did in 4H.
Sara White said…
Ever heard of a crock pot? These are very handy when you have no time to cook. They also have crock pot meals in a bag in the frozen food section at the store. No eggs required!
Anonymous said…
Rob, I failed as your mother! Please forgive me. Still love you though!
Erin said…
Hahah! Oh, dear Robbie. Y to the uck!
Anonymous said…
Just discovered your blog. Thanks for the great belly laughs...you're hilarious, Rob. :)
Carrot Jello said…
Rob, you're a genius!
Just had to get that out of the way so I can start my day.
Yeah, it's 2:00 p.m., so what?
Bridget said…
ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahhah....
Just discovered your blog and am laughing so hard that I did infact pee a little. I did this same thing, except that it exploded in my face while making dinner for my then boyfriend and I's one year date (yes he had zero dollars to take me out on a real date so I was cooking him dinner) Had the same ingenius idea to cook eggs for our salads in the microwave. I started to peel the egg and heard a faint hissing noise and drew the egg up to get a better look/listen. Thats when all hell broke loose. LESSON LEARNED.
Shannon said…
Ok, I've been reading your blog this evening and enjoying every minute of it! I've read it before and it has brought me to tears from laughing so hard. Needless to say tonight is no exception! Man, oh man, I'm laughing so hard that I'm making the whole couch shake, while my husband at the other end of it is looking at me like I'm crazy. Reading your posts have lifted my spirits so! I am definitely a fan.

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