The Sharing of the Hymnal

Do you ever offer to share your hymn book with the person next to you at church and they don’t hold their half of the hymnal?

It really is frustrating because you are forced to take the full weight of the book (which, let’s be honest, those hymnals are not light) with your one hand.

By the time you are half way through the song your thumb starts burning and your whole hand starts to get the “shakes”.

You think the person next to you will get a clue that you might need some assistance because the unsteadiness of your hand gets bobbing and weaving the hymnal all over the place. But for whatever reason your neighbor's head is bobbing and weaving right along with your hymnal.

By this point, your muscle spasms have increased to the point that you might as well be reading the hymnal on a roller coaster than to be able to see it clearly in your pew.

By the fourth verse you are telepathically screaming at your neighbor to please just take the other side of the hymnal. I mean, isn’t that why we go to church to help lift one another’s burdens that they may be light? Friends, I think it is.

Finally the song ends and you pry the hymn book out of your hand.

Then you realize there are three more songs to be sung.

Friends, needless to say, I am a little sore today. It has taken me five hours just to type out these feelings.

Comments

Megann said…
This made me laugh so hard, because it's so TRUE!! That's when individual, small sized hymnals come in handy. I like to think of them as preventative measures :)
November 16, 2009 at 9:56 PM
The Boothes said…
Seriously I think I had a side cramp from laughing! Rob that is hilarious, although you have to wonder, have I ever been the person on the other side of the hymnal? BOY I HOPE NOT!
November 17, 2009 at 12:46 PM
emily said…
this is sad and awkward from both sides -
cause honestly, sometimes the person next to you is holding out the hymnal juuuuuuuust far enough that you can see, but maybe it isn't intentional, and it's juuuuuuuust far enough away that if you reach to hold one side, they might think you're a creeper.

either way - one of you ends up with a strained hand and both of you wish you'd just brought a mini hymnal.
November 17, 2009 at 9:16 PM
Ryan said…
Rob, my thumb muscles ache just reading your post... Well said. The only thing worse than the "I won't hold the hymnal" guy (or gal) is the "I don't sing with the rest of the congregation" guy (or gal). (I noticed an inordinately large number of those at church today.) Sing and hold, people, sing and hold!
November 22, 2009 at 5:58 PM
Anonymous said…
This is too funny coming from a strong young fellow...thought it was my pet peeve cause I'm a weakling...had no idea men could possibly have the same frustration...oopsies!!... drats! I'm guilty : )
November 26, 2009 at 9:12 PM
Shannon said…
Oh my gosh! I am dying laughing here. This is so funny and yet SO true!!! Glad I'm not the only one that feels this way about sharing the Hymnal.
November 28, 2009 at 11:15 AM
Stephanie Abney said…
Funny, Rob - been there, done that. You are a KEEN observer of life. I enjoy your posts. Take care.
November 29, 2009 at 9:15 AM
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