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Showing posts from December, 2008

Poked? Ouch.

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So have you ever been “Poked” on Facebook? I have and I am at a loss as to what that means exactly. How I am supposed to respond? There is nothing that is really attached to it just a finger pointing at you.

Are they calling me out to fight? Are they that desperate for attention that this is the only why they can communicate for a little love, much like a mute child? If I do reply back, what kind of social obligations am I under to this person?

I never have responded to a "poke" before because if I do I am afraid what will happen after the fact. I just imagine that all of a sudden a chat box will open and I will have to chit chat with someone I only like as an acquaintance, and chat boxes I only participate in with serious friends.

It's like those people who come up to you, who you vaguely know, and they extend their arms and say, "Someone needs a hug". And inside you don't want to give them a hug but you do, and then you die a little bit inside because you …

Belated Christmas Blog

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(I meant to post this before Christmas, so if you are done with Christmas, or you are not in the mood for something a little more serious than the regular postings, just check back tomorrow for our regular scheduled programming.)

So Christmas is here and I am sitting here at work thinking, “Maybe choosing to work on Christmas Eve was not a very wise choice.” And then I thought, “Hey may be working the day after Christmas, not a very good choice either.” Man, wise up.

This Christmas I realized something about myself. I don’t really need a lot to make me happy at Christmas. This Christmas I have done things that were “Christmasy” and didn’t spend so much time on the shopping and all that gift who-ha. I went to concerts and plays and even one snowy day I went downtown, well I actually got trapped downtown during a snow storm, but it still counts as an effort.

During my downtown snow storm experience I felt like I was the only person outside. And the snow that was falling were flakes that we…

The Freakiest Excercise Video Ever

So I have already shared with you my love for infomercials which runs very deep in my soul. This video your about to see if obviously from the 80's. You wouldn't know it but there are a few clues that will help you figure out that you are definitely in the land of big hair and french cut work out gear. The clues are subtle, but if you look really close you will see them.

In her infomercial she never really shows you the exercises but just talks about how you only need to exercise for about 15 minutes a day and just breathe. Breathing is the key to your weight loss friends, I don't know if a lot of you knew that but according to this sweet sister that it the secret. I know what you are thinking, "But Rob, I breathe all day every day and haven't seen any results." Well I would tell you friend, you need to think more about how your are breathing and how your are holding your facial muscles. As sweet Greer will demonstrate. (Greer says that the facial exercise wil…

The Whistle: A Lost Art

Have you ever listened to “White Christmas” and heard the beautiful whistling solo? It is one of my favorite parts of that song. What says Christmas like a good whistle?

Whatever happened to the art of the whistle? I remember my grandpa had a beautiful whistle. It was almost ethereal in tone and it had such a nice vibrato attached to each ending note.

People really don’t whistle any more, ya know. We live in an age of IPODs and YouTube, so any music we want is really on demand whenever we want it. But back in the day your whistle was all you had to listen to. You would have your different playlists, and songs that you had book marked just stored up in your brain.

Before your day would begin I am sure you would sit down and think, “OK, I am heading to the gym, so I will whistle my ‘work out jams’ playlist. I think today I will start with AC/DC “Thunderstruck’”. And then you would jump on that tread mill and whistle your work out. Oh course it was really distracting because everyone was w…

The Gift of all Gifts Has Arrived!

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Guess what I received yesterday friends? All my Christmas wishes came true. After a cold and long day at work I received...my very own Slanket.

I wear it loud and I wear it proud.

If you have no idea what a slanket is and my feelings about it please see my previous entry on the Slanket.

ASLEEP

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So I was listening to “Away in a Manger” the other day and remembered a funny experience that happened when I was about 10 years old.

First, before I go on, you know how there are two versions of “Away in a Manger” right? One has the, “ASLEEP, asleep, ASLEEP…etc”, and the other does not.

So we are sitting in church and we pull out our hymnals and the closing hymn is “Away in a Manager”. Fantastic, we thought, we knew this song from primary. Now, the one we had learned in primary was the “ASLEEP, asleep, ASLEEP…etc” version while the one we were about to sing was sans the “ASLEEP, asleep, ASLEEP…etc”.

So my sister loves to sing and was always such a good example of just singing with all your heart and soul. Even if she didn’t know the song she would always just give it her all. I, on the other hand, realized that this was different than the “Away in a Manager” I was used to singing in primary so I just sang it very timidly.

It was getting close to the end of the song and we all sang “…A…

For Your Safety. . .

So today I went to the orthodontist to get my permanent retainers put on. It is always a highlight to get new retainers on, as many of you know. So you can imagine how excited I was to see good Dr. Jensen again. Maybe I was a little too excited because I had to go peeps bad!

So I ran into the office building where my "orthodont", as I like to call him, resides searching for a bathroom. I quickly found a bathroom but to my horror I realized that it was locked. "This can't be right I thought", and threw my shoulder against the door, and again the door did not budge.

I was almost to the point of bursting, when I put my head down and went into battering ram position. Now with my eyes at that level I saw a sign on the door that said, "For your safety this bathroom is looked. Please see your health care provider for a key."

What!! I tell you what will be a safety issue, how about wetting myself and then sitting in the ortho chair and being electrocuted. Now…

The Reverse Trike Master

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Isn't it amazing how your paths cross with people. I serve on a committee at work were we talk about how we can make our place of business a healthier place to work in.

Today our discussion turned to safe modes of transportation. We were supposed to be talking about healthy eating but some how a guy on our committee always gets off topic and goes on and on about ridiculous things. Last time he suggested we put Gatorade in the drinking fountains. Your tax dollars hard at work folks. Whenever he goes off we say, "Thanks, for commenting...(awkward silence as we glance back and forth at each other)..any way...", and then we get back to the agenda.

So there we all were talking about wearing our seat belts and coming up with a campaign to get people to use their blind spots, when "Random Man", as I like to call him, said that we should all start riding our bikes to work. But then we patiently reminded him that it's mid-December and thin rubber wheels and ice are no…

The Slanket Experience

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Friends I love an innovative, and creative product. You know I do! Which explains why most of my Saturdays are spent watching infomercials (The magic bullet just came out with a new juicer. Check it out. It's gonna be big. Oh, and don't even get me started talking about Ronco Popeil's new pasta maker.)

So my co-worker came in last week and told me she saw the funniest thing on QVC called the Slanket. I was intrigued. "Show me this Slanket that you speak of.", I told her. So we went to the QVC website and friends here is what we found.



I immediately fell on the floor laughing because who in their right mind would drape themselves in a velour sheet and walk around their home this way? I mean that is why our society manufactured ginormous blankets so we wouldn't have to look like this guy laying on his couch when friends stop by unexpectedly. Can you imagine the embarrassment you would feel if your roommate brought home a date, and there you were wearing your Harr…

Twillight The Movie: Seriously?

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So this weekend I happened to catch "Twilight" the cinematic spectacular that seems to have captured all the women that I know in a vice grip and will not release them back to reality.

In a previous blog, I have openly admitted that I have read all four books in the "Twilight" series. I found the first books pretty good so I went into the movie thinking with all the technology we have available to us, this movie should rock. Well friends I left feeling something was a miss, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

After some serious reflection I have put my thoughts about the movie into some talking points:

Point 1- At one point Edward tells Bella she is his own personal brand of heroin. Is that supposed to be flattering? I may be new at this love-ease, but really? Heroin? Since Edward has been alive, I don't know, like 200 years, I would expect a little bit more thoughtfulness on his part. Comparing a girl to an illegal substance may not be the best way to get her…

Christmas Specials

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A few days ago "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" was on your local ABC affiliate. I love this cartoon. Don't get it confused with the Jim Carrey train wreck known by a similar name. Friends it has been some time since I have sat through this jem of a Christmas special. What a great message it has. Remember? I will quote it for you if you don't...

He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!"
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in Whoville …

Wal-Mart Fury

Remember that time last night when I went over to the Wal-Mart to buy a single gift card. It was around 9:30 pm so I was just going to run in, grab, and go. Once I got to the check out counter I got behind a woman who seemed to have very few items, so I jumped behind her.

Friends, she was a talker and she was telling the cashier all about her shopping expeditions throughout the valley. About the screaming deal she got a on a new coat and new doggie doughnut for her Yorkies.

At this point I began to get a little impatient because ya know it was getting late and I needed to get home. But some how in my mind I imagined that she was probably not married and she was one of those people who considered her yorkie's her children, and dang it, she just need some good human contact at her local neighborhood Wal-mart to ease her lonliness. Man I am so chariable. . .but then I notice she wasn't wearing a wedding ring. What?

Now I was getting very impatient and angry, but I noticed that sh…