Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Demolition Derby

There are a couple of things in life that bring me back to my roots and truly make me feel like an American.

Whenever I hear “Call of the Common” by Aaron Copland, attend a rodeo, or sing “The Star Spangled Banner” I feel uniquely American and want to put my hand on my heart and do a hitch kick.

Over the weekend I found another little activity that is uniquely American and brought me back to my very basic human instincts. It is called the “Demolition Derby” and friends if you haven’t attended this little activity at your local fair, I have to ask, what are you waiting for?

I don’t know where all the people who attend the Demolition Derby hide on the off season, but they come out in full force come game day. You know the crowd, the woman who has a cigarette in one hand, and a new born baby in the other, wearing a Coors Light tube top. The men who wear cowboy hats, and have multiple piercings, and tribal band tatoos up and down their arms. So all night you are trying to place their affiliation. Are they cowboys, stoners, skaters, what? Pick a group and stick with it.

And the derby itself brings me to my very animalistic instincts of ramming my car into others. Don’t you ever feel like that on a Monday around 4:00 when traffic is at a stand still on the freeway? I dream of the day when it will be socially accepted to kick my car into first gear and ram cars until I can get to my exit. And seeing the ramming of cars at the Derby brings me hope that some day my dream of ramming into others will some day become a reality. (Let's all call our congressman and get a bill going today!)

The funny thing about the whole demolition derby is that if you win you become a mini star for the night. The girls sitting behind me kept stalking one of the drivers and even got their picture taken with him which I happily jumped into because I was a bit star struck myself.

So friends, the summer is almost over, and if you haven’t hit the Demolition Derby in your local area, you need to jump on it. Pull out that old tube top you have under your mattress and get your derby on.

3 comments:

Heidi said...

If you ever become a Derby Man, I have a car you can use.

Bart said...

Just took my 4 yr old boy to our first derby last month, something definitely changes within you, you become a new man. Is that why I've been secretly suppressing urges for strange body piercings and tattoos? At least I haven't worn a tube top. Admit it, Rob. You have.

moffthetoff said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm still laughing! Good times!