Thursday, October 23, 2008

Twilight



So friends I have to confess that I have read all four books in the Twilight series. I have retained my "man" status inspite of all the estrogen that these books seemed to ooze.

I thought I would share with you my thoughts about these books because I think as a man I have some unique insights that maybe a female may not see because she is so blinded by that Edward guy.

I will admit to you that I loved books 1 and 2. As a man I liked the intensity and also the dynmics of vampires and werewolves living miles from each other. I thought to myself, "Hey, This Stephanie Myers, she's alright."

Then book three surfaced and I can't tell you how many times I was so angered that the whole book revolved around Bell and her inability to make a decision as to who she was going to have a committed relationship with. Seriously, Bella? Is it that hard? And must we spend 500 pages of a book going back and forth about who she likes when those 500 pages could have been used to have a battle sequence of some kind? I know Bella is a fictional character but there were times when I wanted to reach through the pages of the book and slap this girl around and tell her to stop messing with Edward and Jacob's heart. And while I am on the subject what in the world do these two guys see in Bella? She is uncoordinated, by her own admitance she is not that great looking, and has the personality of a rock. So what is compelling these to guys to drive so hard to the hoop to vie for her attention when really they could have any other girl in the free world? Would love to know.

As a man I can tell you Edward was not the right guy for Bella. I know he won her over in the end but Jacob clearly was the better choice. Maybe my hatred was kindled because Stepanie Myers would always go into overkill discribing what Edward looked like. Using words like, "chisled", "granite", "cold" "sweet smelling"and "coco colored eyes". Ya, Steph I get the idea babe. You don't have to describe how good looking he is every over page. Edward is good looking, yeah, I get it! And need I remind all of you he is a VAMPIRE? How in the world do we all of a sudden feel comfortable around someone who at any moment can kill you? Seriously.

Back to Jacob. He is a mans man. Just chill. Not high maintenance like Edward. Just has to roll out of bed strap some pants around his leg and just go commando. Another thing, why does Bella want to cuddle up to something that is cold and granite-like. I have lived in the northwest and it does get chilly up there and you do not want to spoon with a ice block when it starts raining up there, trust me. You want something warm up against your backside on a cold rainy night and that person is clearly JACOB.

Book four was a little better for me but still lacked the intensity of the first two. My same frustration from book three was realized when she wanted to have feelings for both Jacob and Edward even when she was MARRIED. And again I wanted to reach through the pages and shake Bella and say hello you can't have it both ways. Sacrifices need to be made in relationships. Make the decision Bella, stop being such playa'. And lets be honest as much as I liked Jacob in the first books, in book four he was an idiot with Bella. And yet for some stupid reason, which I can never figure out, Bella just laughed it off and they were friends again. What? Wouldn't that have been a good time to end it with him or have him killed or something?

In books 3 & 4 she teased us all thinking there was going to be a huge battle and lives would be lost but when we finally got to the battle there was no one who died. Everyone just walked away unscathed. It was so anticlimatic. In all great novels and movies someone of worth must die. Look at StarWars, Harry Potter, and the NeverEnding Story (remember when Atreu's horse dies in the swamps of sadness? That was heavy stuff.) Steph don't tease me with a battle and then drop the ball, that's all I'm saying.

I know I will get some angry comments about this blog but it just goes to show you that men and women can read the same story and get completely diffent feelings about it. I had to get these feelings vented because I have carried this anger with me for a long time and it needed to get out. Men want the action, women want the romance and that is why will will never have world peace. Something to think about.

7 comments:

Keepin' up with the Jones' said...

i am an edward fan rob. have been since page 1. jacob seemed a little immature to me for some reason. however, i totally agree with book 4 being anticlimatic. i was pretty bored throughout the whole book. i was thinking she would at least start soemthing and then i realized there were 50 pages left and that was not enough time for intense suspense. i felt like 200 pages were spent talking about the 2 days she was transforming. and once she did transform, no one seemed to care that much. charlie not really caring? come on. i think my parents wouldn't have been too happy if i had come home with a tattoo let alone becoming a vampire and having a baby! so, i was a little disappointed in book 4 but loved books 1 and 2.

Heidi said...

I will confess that I read the first two books all the way through, but got bored about halfway through the third book. I skimmed the last 5 or 6 chapters without really caring, and I still have no desire to read the fourth book. I'll probably read it eventually, just to round out the series because my slight OCPD tendencies would be bothered if I didn't. She needs a better editor.

Let the anger out, Rob. Let it out by word-vomiting your angst and marketing it to teenage girls. ;)

Tricky Nicky said...

I feel like I'm betraying my sex by saying that I totally agree with you! I felt like a really morbid person when I admitted that I was upset about the lack of fighting and bloodshed in the 4th book. Bella is too indecisive and whining, too much the damsel in distress. Ugh!! I think if I ever met her in a dark alley (before she became a vampire, of course) I would punch her in the face. She would crumble like a piece of paper and I would leave with Jacob.

Megs said...

I am with you 100%. Jacob is the clear choice. I hated in book 4 how she still gets both of them. I hated that in the battle everyone just looked at each other and pretty much just said "j/k guys, we'll let this slide" WHAT?? I still really liked all the books and I am glad I read them, but there were parts where I was really frustrated. I am realizing that I am getting a little worked up over a juvenile lit. book so it is time to call it a night.

Melissa said...

I "HEART" Edward! He is my Favorite! Jacob is a whiny teenager! YUCK!!! However, I have thought about the whole spooning & being in bed with Edward & I freeze all the time anyways, & he would only make matters worse. I would prefer him not to be so cold & granite like,but then where would the whole story be, GONE! My husband has read them all, also. In fact, we had a fight over who was going to read Breaking Dawn first & he won, because he claims, he's a faster reader than me,JERK! Of course, there's no hard feelings. Anyway, Breaking Dawn was my least favorite! I"m all about the first 2 books! Can't wait for the movie! YEAH!

Anonymous said...

That was certainly an interesting post on your "manly" opinion of the Twilight series. Do I detect a little jealousy of Edward? I think I do, maybe you could learn a few pointers from him and become a real man. Admit it, you know you secretly want to be Edward. Who wouldn't?

Erin said...

I've always been a big Edward fan. Even the coldness lured me. I dunno what it is exactly. Chiseled and cold - it doesn't matter. Perhaps it says something about women and their ability to love even with so many obstacles in the way (blood sucking vampire, chiseled and cold body, etc.)
The first two books were by far my favorites. The last one was definitely anti-climactic for me. Sometimes I want to wring Bella's neck, but all of those things aside, I like the gist of it.