The Pink Streaker
So here is something funny…
I went over to my local Target to pick up a power tool, which I am oft to do on a Saturday afternoon. As I was in the power tool aisle testing various power drills and seeing how manly I looked with them in my hand, something very bizarre happened that changed me in a deep and profound way.
Just like out a horror movie I caught something out of the corner of my eye. A strange streak “whooshed” by. It was too fast to be human so my heart began to race.
So I grabbed a double barreled power drill and a nail gun, for good measure, and headed toward the end of the aisle to investigate.
I went over to my local Target to pick up a power tool, which I am oft to do on a Saturday afternoon. As I was in the power tool aisle testing various power drills and seeing how manly I looked with them in my hand, something very bizarre happened that changed me in a deep and profound way.
Just like out a horror movie I caught something out of the corner of my eye. A strange streak “whooshed” by. It was too fast to be human so my heart began to race.
So I grabbed a double barreled power drill and a nail gun, for good measure, and headed toward the end of the aisle to investigate.
As I peaked my head around the corner, behind me, at the other end of the aisle the same mysterious something “whooshed” past again.
Well, if you thought I was perplexed before, now I was beside myself. What was this thing with unnatural speed and strange pink markings?
Suddenly and without warning, from behind me, I heard the unmistakable sound of a chime. Not just any chime mind you, but the chime of a bicycle bell. A sound that would live in my memory for years to come.
I leapt out of the way just in time to see…a fifty year woman riding a children’s bicycle wearing her pink stretchy pants and teddy bear sweat shirt.
And I'm all like...what? So I immediately set out to make my presence known and get the poop on what was going on.
So I found out that this sweet sister was buying her daughter a bike. And because Target doesn’t allow you to take bikes outside for a test drive, she thought she would just test them out in the store by riding them up and down the aisles until she found the perfect bike for her granddaughter. Fantastic!
I have such great admiration for this good lady. I love people who buck the trends of our social norms, to make things more practical for themselves.
Well, if you thought I was perplexed before, now I was beside myself. What was this thing with unnatural speed and strange pink markings?
Suddenly and without warning, from behind me, I heard the unmistakable sound of a chime. Not just any chime mind you, but the chime of a bicycle bell. A sound that would live in my memory for years to come.
I leapt out of the way just in time to see…a fifty year woman riding a children’s bicycle wearing her pink stretchy pants and teddy bear sweat shirt.
And I'm all like...what? So I immediately set out to make my presence known and get the poop on what was going on.
So I found out that this sweet sister was buying her daughter a bike. And because Target doesn’t allow you to take bikes outside for a test drive, she thought she would just test them out in the store by riding them up and down the aisles until she found the perfect bike for her granddaughter. Fantastic!
I have such great admiration for this good lady. I love people who buck the trends of our social norms, to make things more practical for themselves.
I could see myself sitting on the bikes, kicking the tires but I would never dare to ride it in the store.
But this lady saw no way around it, she just rode 'till she couldn't rode no mo'.
Boogie on Reggae Women
So the next time you see me speed skating around Target, arms flailing, knocking over can food displays and unsuspecting people, fear not friends, I am just testing out some new roller blades.
Boogie on Reggae Women
So the next time you see me speed skating around Target, arms flailing, knocking over can food displays and unsuspecting people, fear not friends, I am just testing out some new roller blades.
Comments
Good luck with the rollerblades. Watch out for the office supply aisle--staples are hard to get out of your kneecaps.