Let's Not Abuse Our Employees By Making Them Wear Ridiculous Outfits

I tell you what, there is one company who is not gonna be bossed into updating their uniforms to fit into modern day society. And that company is Hot Dog on a Stick.

Friends what is going on over there?

Every time I go to the mall and see those cute girls in those hideous outfits I have to ask who is making these girls dress this way. The three foot tall hat and those crazy stripes, what are we circus performers, go-go dancers, what? It’s hard to say.

Bless those girl’s hearts but those outfits just aren’t flattering to any figure. They seem to accentuate all the negatives and smother all the positives on the body. Polyester will do that to you, she is a harsh mistress.

It’s bad enough that they have to wear those outfits but then they add insult to injury by making them beat lemons for their “Freshly Squeezed Lemonade”.

I don’t know if you have had the rare occasion to see this little treat as you are striding through the mall but let me give you brief description of what they have these sweet sisters doing.

They have a bucket, and inside the bucket they put lemons, and then the worker takes out what appears to be a gynormous mallet and the proceeds to beat the juice right out of these helpless little lemons. And some workers aren’t content to go through the motion of doing a pithy up and down movement, but they get a full extension and get that mallet up over there heads and slam it back into the bucket. And the amazing thing is that they do it all with a smile while sweat is pouring down their face. (Spoiler Alert: A lot of people don’t know this but sweat really is the secret ingredient to their world famous lemonade.)

The funny thing is, they could probably do the “Lemon Smash” dance in the back of the store, but no, they put this sweet sister out on “the deck” for the entire mall to watch. I like this because I refuse to drink lemonade unless they can prove to me, that yes, those lemons are pulverized by hand. As the good book says, “In the eyes of two or three witness shall every hand squeezed lemonade be established…”

And have you ever seen a man working at a Hot Dog on a Stick? Are they even allowed to apply? Would he be required to wear the same clown costume?

If someone could fill me in I would appreciate it, I am looking for a PT job.