Age Appropriate Slang

Remember that time when you were a teenager and your teachers, scout leader, or adult equivalent would try to use current slang to get down to your level, so they could be "hip" and "street"?

They would use words like “totally awesome man” or “that’s gnarly” like they were speaking a foreign language. Loud and proud they would speak it and then look to you with a painful awkwardness hoping they had used your brand of slang in the right context.

Their use of my slang was so age inappropriate and usually had the opposite affect in regards to their desiring to be cool and accepted by teenagers. We labeled them as instigators and shunned them for trying too hard to be friends with us. They were ripe with over effort.

Bless them, they did struggle so.

So the other day I was over ta’ the Wal-Mart waiting to get some pictures developed at the photo lab in the back of the store. And as I was waiting to be helped by my friendly Wal-Mart photo lab associates I noticed they were in a heated argument.

It was hard to hear what they were arguing about. Any way, as I was leaning my body over the counter, I overheard them talking about some of the relationship problems they were having in the photo lab. More than likely it was a DTR, but really must we do that on company time friends? Must we?

So while I was listening ever so attentively, and wondering if they were ever going find time to help me, they spotted me listening in and the girl said, “Sir, I will be with you in a minute.” And without thinking, and feeling embarrassed because I got caught listening to their DTR, I said, and get ready for this, “Fer shizzle.”?

An awkward silence fell over what seemed to be the entire Wal-Mart. And my photo lab friends paused and just stared at me. OHHH so awkward!

Fer Shizzle? Really Rob? I never say "Shizzle", let alone "Fer Shizzle". I am not even sure what it means, but because I was startled and wanted to seem like I was “hip to their jive” I said it. Why, I ask myself? Why?

When you are 33 years old you need to drop the usage of the word “shizzle” all together...unless you are at a Snoop Dog concert and then I think it may not only be justified but requisite to entering into said concert.

All of a sudden I realized I become one of those adults trying to stay hip by saying words that are completely not age appropriate. After age 30 your slang usage should probably consist of words like "cool" and "neato"

The whole slang incident has got me straight up trippin’ boo.


Erin said…
Haha! Oh, to see it! I must say, I am totally 'hip' to the hip-hoppin' slang, yo. Ok, so I pretend to be hip. Even the other day when I was watching my teenage nephew, and thereby his friends, I threw out a few yo's, the ever-so-awesome 'dude', then shizzle. It's true. They mostly laughed and thought I was funny. Sometimes I think I am. Oh, to be hip. I am not.
Megs said…
Rob, you better not be lying here because I love this story. I laughed out loud. That is just fantastic!
Rebecca Banner said…
Just wait until you take your 15 and 12 year old nephews (and thier friends) to a concert! I have never felt my age more than trying to decide if I should give them their space and look like I came to the concert alone...or buddy up to the teenagers risking embarrassing them and myself!
Bart said…
Tight, yo. Like, it's fly.

...yeah, I got nuthin' else. The sad thing is, the slang you knew when you were a kid sticks with you for way too long. I STILL sometimes have to hold back a strong urge to say, "RAD!" Would anyone even know what that means anymore? My slang is very "D.I." But back in the day, I was TOTALLY rad.
this story was off the hook, yo! seriously, so funny. still laughing about it and i read it last night!
Karyn Mann said…
I am laying in my bed at 1am in NYC dying of out loud laughter. I am considering a trip to Utah just so we can get a Walmart spa treatment and I can hear this story in person.
I miss your voice... but you do do a grand job of recreating it in your blog posts.

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