Oh Hair. Why Must You Thin So?

Earlier this year I knew my hair loss was getting bad by some subtle comments that were made to me by the hair/make-up person in a play I was in.

I was the angel Gabriel and so every night she would have to give me what she lovingly called the “Angel Poof”. In reality the "Angel Poof" was a nice way of saying, "Let's rat Rob’s hair until he bleeds, and then, because Rob may not be in a enough pain already, lets put a whole can of hair spray on his raw head, so that his hair won't budge even if gall force winds suddenly burst into the theatre."

Seriously, it was painful, much like pouring lemon juice into a paper cut.

Sure I knew I was receding and thought I was handling it all very well. I knew my receding hair line was gradually progressing up my scalp, but I still thought I had some good growth up top.

Well, one night the “hair lady” subtlety said, “Oh boy there is not a lot to work with back here”.

She went so far as to say, “Next year you may have to wear a wig”.

A wig? Are you serious sister? Really? I hate to say this, but good sister you need to check yourself because it will be a cold day in…before this guy straps on a wig. Yeah.

So last night I went Great Clips to get a hair cut, which is usually a great experience. I love people touching my head for some reason. Well, to wrap up the experience the stylist asks me to check the back. So she holds up the mirror and I notice this huge bald spot on the top of my head.

“OK, it all looks good...um...except for the huge bald spot on top of my head. Did you accidentally take out a huge chunk of my hair or what?”

She responded, “No sir, you are…um…you are just going bald.”

Ouch! That really hurt. I mean, you don’t usually see that back of your head so last night I realized that I have lost a ton of hair back there. Whoa, what a wake up call. The whole experience left me a little stunned.

Friends, after some initial shock and some positive self talk, I think I have come to grips with the inevitability that some day I will be completely bald. And I am OK with that friends. I am still a good person and have a lot to offer with other areas of my face and head (I have some awesome looking ears, and don’t even get me started on how cool my chin is).

So with a lot of soul searching and prayer, today has been a better day.
I have only cried three times and I have found baseball caps go with some many different outfits and looks.
You can dress it up or down.
Friends, crisis averted.
Fantastic!

Comments

Carrot Jello said…
Hello? Do-rags are way cooler. Especially those flag ones. Perfect for summer.
May 21, 2009 at 7:31 PM
Katie said…
A lot of women... like me... find bald men extremely attractive. My husband will probably never go bald... but I sure enjoy admiring a nice bald head!
May 21, 2009 at 9:15 PM
Heidi said…
Rogaine. No one has to know.
May 22, 2009 at 9:21 AM
Rachael said…
Oh, sweet Rob. Sorry to hear that those cutting remarks are resurfacing again so long after the fact. If it helps soothe your wounded ... scalp, we agree with Katie's comment. God made a few perfect heads, and the rest He covered with hair. Isn't it nice to know yours is being translated? :P
May 22, 2009 at 8:55 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Great Pumpkin As An Adult

Remember when you watched, “ It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown ” as a child and you thought it was an alright cartoon, it was no Loony Tunes, but it was at least watchable. Last night I had an occasion to watch “ It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown ” and as an adult, I have some strong concerns about these kids in the Peanuts cartoons. What is with Charlie Brown? I don’t know if anyone followed his life after his little stint with the “Peanuts” gang, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed himself around the age of 14. Everyone picks on him, he can’t even make a good ghost costume, and when everyone else gets buckets of candy whalst out trick-or-treating, his friendly neighbors give him Rocks. Rocks? Really? Is that how we treat a child with low self-esteem, by giving him rocks instead of candy? If I was Charlie Brown, I would have come back in the night and returned all those rocks through their windows. And what is with this Lucy? She’s a JERK, with a capital “J”,
Read more

The Brady's Brick Square

Image
Do you ever watch “The Brady Bunch” after work? And after watching the jam cook off with Alice and Mrs. Brady, you are troubled with the square brink opening in the kitchen, next to the double ovens. What is that thing? I feel like I have watched every episode and never at anytime has that hollow brink square been addressed. And as an avid watcher I feel like I need answers Mike Brady. You are the one who designed this house, so spill it! What is that thing? Is it some sort of “dumb waiter”? And if so why haven’t the Brady children been using that to get to the bedrooms instead of climbing all those pesky stairs? Especially “older Greg” because his bedroom is all the way up in the attic and he could use a lift. I can’t even enjoy a complete episode anymore because I am so fixated on trying to figure out what that thing is. Can anyone help me out on this?
Read more

The Elder's Quorum Lesson

So one of the things I dread in life is teaching Elder’s Quorum at church. I love to teach Sunday School and could do that all day every day, but those Elders are a tough crowd to teach to. It seems to me, and I could be wrong, that the guys just give up once they get to Elders Quorum. They don’t want to answer any questions, or volunteer to read. They just want to sit there for an hour until church gets out. So here was me yesterday teaching, “OK Friends, so who can tell me what Charity is?” (The distant sound of crickets chirping) Now, I am not afraid of silence and I am a believer in letting people ponder the question before they respond, but after ten minutes of very loud silence it’s time for someone to say “uncle”. It’s like a silent competition to see who will cave first. Will the teacher answer his own question or will the elders finally have the courage to speak up? It’s hard to say who ultimately wins this battle in the end Yesterday, it seemed that I had to answer the majori
Read more

The Wonder Women Transportation Problem

Image
So last night I couldn’t fall asleep, and for whatever reason my mind went back to the Justice League cartoon I used to watch as child. Remember? You had Superman , Batman , Aquaman , Wonder Women and those annoying Wonder Twins with their monkey (I don’t remember what their function was because they had useless powers and really cause more problems than they fixed) and they would try to defend the Earth from crazy villains. It was a veritable Dream Team of Supers . Every “ Super ” had a cool means of transportation. Superman could fly, Batman had the Batmobile, Aquaman rode on dolphins, and Wonder Women had… an invisible jet. You heard me right friends, an invisible jet. Now the invisible jet would be cool if once Wonder Women was in her jet she would also become invisible, much like the invisibility clock from Harry Potter. That would make sense to me. But she isn’t invisible friends; Wonder Women is clearly visible in the seated position. Which is a really weird position to
Read more

The Toilet Paper Decision

Is the hardest part of your grocery shopping experience deciding what toilet paper to buy? Yesterday, I ran into the store just to buy toilet paper, and it took me 20 minutes to come to any sort of a conclusion as to which toilet paper would work best for my personal needs. At first, I went for the strongest and softest, the perfect comination of velvet and steel, Ultra Charmin. It almost make s you wish you had the “runs”. However, as many of you know, for whatever reason, a 4-pack of Ultra Charmin, the Mercedes-Benz of toilet paper, now can cost upwards of $5.00. Let’s be honest, why are they trying to gouge us on toilet paper? It’s nothing; it would be something if it was made out of cotton, or an exotic flower. But when you get right down to it, toilet paper is a bunch of lint stuck together on a roll. And they want $5.00 for this thing? I stood there justifying this eleborate purchase by saying, “ You work so hard Rob. You deserve to be pampered at least once a day… or
Read more

The Revelation of Others

I love when people get revelation for me. It saves me so much time in the hunt for a spouse. I mean, why would I receive revelation for my own affairs when there are a whole army of people intercepting them for me. One day at church, a sweet sister approached me with something very important to say. How do I know it was important? Because, she cupped my elbow with her hand and gently whispered in my ear, " I need to talk to you about something very important. Can I meet with you after church? " Thinking it had something to do with my calling or perhaps an assignment that needed to be filled, I politely agreed to meet her in the chapel after church. During Sunday School I kept thinking that perhaps she had contracted some terrible disease and needed a blessing or perhaps she was having some doubts about her testimony and was needing my help to get her back on track. After the block, I entered the chapel to see her sitting quietly with a very pious look on her face. As
Read more