A Toilet, a Toilet, My Kingdom for a Toilet

In this time when we are bombarded with so many multi-faceted troubling issues that include Swine Flu, the downfall of the housing market, and above all why Wheel of Fortune is still on TV. I mean who is still watching that show?

I believe as concerned citizens we need to bring to light many political problems that would be otherwise swept under the rug. Friends, with everything else that is going on in the world, have we overlooked perhaps in the urgency to fix the economy other more pressing issues that we need to deal with? Have we?

One of the many advantages of working in a government facility is that I am kept abreast of all the major issues facing our fair county of Salt Lake.

One issue that was brought to light to me as I was out for my morning walk was this: Lack of Public Toilets.

Doesn’t that just ring true to you? I mean isn’t that an issue that has long festered in your heart and bladder?

Some good citizen has littered the county building with these professional looking fliers (I have always said that you can move political mountains if you have a professional looking flier to bring attention to your cause.)

Check out this gem. It is visual eye candy so be ready to be "wowed":


I am troubled to see so many good citizens with frantic looks on their faces, walking ever so quickly, cross legged down the sidewalk searching for any place to relieve themselves.

And let's be honest, if Jaime Lee Curtis is going to be allowed to push Activa Yogurt so forcifully, some one is bound to have an accident unless we have more public toilets available. Am I right?

Forgive me, but something must be done now. Can we set aside the economy and Swine Flu for a day and focus on the more pressing matter that is the lack of public toilets in the greater Salt Lake area? How about congress?

And while you are at it, can you work on getting Wheel of Fortune off the air? Too long has it taken a good time slot on KJZZ.

Congress do your thang, girl!

Comments

Vibeke said…
I'm pretty sure it's only tourists who need to use public restrooms, which is why only tourist attractions have them. All these people you see on the street desperately searching for one must be lost out-of-towners.
April 27, 2009 at 5:54 PM
Ronnie said…
Not to mention those poor potty training toddlers who get in trouble because they can't hold it until their desperately searching mother finds them a potty.
April 28, 2009 at 9:19 AM
kjgray75 said…
So help me Rob if you mount a movement to remove Wheel from the evening line-up. Some of us stay-at-home moms rely on Wheel as our only daily intellectual outlet. Plus, Pat and Vanah feel like family.
April 29, 2009 at 8:33 AM
Megann said…
i LOVE wheel of fortune!!! if you want to focus on getting something off the air, let's turn to "Jeopardy." Alex doesn't have much life left in him...
April 29, 2009 at 8:53 PM
Erin said…
Te quiero Robierto. Thanks for a hearty laugh!
May 1, 2009 at 9:19 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Great Pumpkin As An Adult

Remember when you watched, “ It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown ” as a child and you thought it was an alright cartoon, it was no Loony Tunes, but it was at least watchable. Last night I had an occasion to watch “ It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown ” and as an adult, I have some strong concerns about these kids in the Peanuts cartoons. What is with Charlie Brown? I don’t know if anyone followed his life after his little stint with the “Peanuts” gang, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed himself around the age of 14. Everyone picks on him, he can’t even make a good ghost costume, and when everyone else gets buckets of candy whalst out trick-or-treating, his friendly neighbors give him Rocks. Rocks? Really? Is that how we treat a child with low self-esteem, by giving him rocks instead of candy? If I was Charlie Brown, I would have come back in the night and returned all those rocks through their windows. And what is with this Lucy? She’s a JERK, with a capital “J”,
Read more

The Brady's Brick Square

Image
Do you ever watch “The Brady Bunch” after work? And after watching the jam cook off with Alice and Mrs. Brady, you are troubled with the square brink opening in the kitchen, next to the double ovens. What is that thing? I feel like I have watched every episode and never at anytime has that hollow brink square been addressed. And as an avid watcher I feel like I need answers Mike Brady. You are the one who designed this house, so spill it! What is that thing? Is it some sort of “dumb waiter”? And if so why haven’t the Brady children been using that to get to the bedrooms instead of climbing all those pesky stairs? Especially “older Greg” because his bedroom is all the way up in the attic and he could use a lift. I can’t even enjoy a complete episode anymore because I am so fixated on trying to figure out what that thing is. Can anyone help me out on this?
Read more

The Elder's Quorum Lesson

So one of the things I dread in life is teaching Elder’s Quorum at church. I love to teach Sunday School and could do that all day every day, but those Elders are a tough crowd to teach to. It seems to me, and I could be wrong, that the guys just give up once they get to Elders Quorum. They don’t want to answer any questions, or volunteer to read. They just want to sit there for an hour until church gets out. So here was me yesterday teaching, “OK Friends, so who can tell me what Charity is?” (The distant sound of crickets chirping) Now, I am not afraid of silence and I am a believer in letting people ponder the question before they respond, but after ten minutes of very loud silence it’s time for someone to say “uncle”. It’s like a silent competition to see who will cave first. Will the teacher answer his own question or will the elders finally have the courage to speak up? It’s hard to say who ultimately wins this battle in the end Yesterday, it seemed that I had to answer the majori
Read more

The Wonder Women Transportation Problem

Image
So last night I couldn’t fall asleep, and for whatever reason my mind went back to the Justice League cartoon I used to watch as child. Remember? You had Superman , Batman , Aquaman , Wonder Women and those annoying Wonder Twins with their monkey (I don’t remember what their function was because they had useless powers and really cause more problems than they fixed) and they would try to defend the Earth from crazy villains. It was a veritable Dream Team of Supers . Every “ Super ” had a cool means of transportation. Superman could fly, Batman had the Batmobile, Aquaman rode on dolphins, and Wonder Women had… an invisible jet. You heard me right friends, an invisible jet. Now the invisible jet would be cool if once Wonder Women was in her jet she would also become invisible, much like the invisibility clock from Harry Potter. That would make sense to me. But she isn’t invisible friends; Wonder Women is clearly visible in the seated position. Which is a really weird position to
Read more

The Toilet Paper Decision

Is the hardest part of your grocery shopping experience deciding what toilet paper to buy? Yesterday, I ran into the store just to buy toilet paper, and it took me 20 minutes to come to any sort of a conclusion as to which toilet paper would work best for my personal needs. At first, I went for the strongest and softest, the perfect comination of velvet and steel, Ultra Charmin. It almost make s you wish you had the “runs”. However, as many of you know, for whatever reason, a 4-pack of Ultra Charmin, the Mercedes-Benz of toilet paper, now can cost upwards of $5.00. Let’s be honest, why are they trying to gouge us on toilet paper? It’s nothing; it would be something if it was made out of cotton, or an exotic flower. But when you get right down to it, toilet paper is a bunch of lint stuck together on a roll. And they want $5.00 for this thing? I stood there justifying this eleborate purchase by saying, “ You work so hard Rob. You deserve to be pampered at least once a day… or
Read more

The Revelation of Others

I love when people get revelation for me. It saves me so much time in the hunt for a spouse. I mean, why would I receive revelation for my own affairs when there are a whole army of people intercepting them for me. One day at church, a sweet sister approached me with something very important to say. How do I know it was important? Because, she cupped my elbow with her hand and gently whispered in my ear, " I need to talk to you about something very important. Can I meet with you after church? " Thinking it had something to do with my calling or perhaps an assignment that needed to be filled, I politely agreed to meet her in the chapel after church. During Sunday School I kept thinking that perhaps she had contracted some terrible disease and needed a blessing or perhaps she was having some doubts about her testimony and was needing my help to get her back on track. After the block, I entered the chapel to see her sitting quietly with a very pious look on her face. As
Read more