Stage Fright


So I just went to the restroom and to my surprise there was no one in there. I love having my pick of the urinals and being solo in there. There is no greater feeling than having the bathroom to yourself.

We have a total of four urinals in our spacious bathroom. So I pick my favorite spot, right next to the wall. I pick the wall because I feel that it allows for a greater sense of privacy and security.

So as I am "doing my business" someone walks in and comes to use the urinal right next to me. "Dude, there are three other urinals waiting to be used, why stand right next to me? Get thee hence." We did have a nice partition separating us but even with that we are shoulder to shoulder people, literally. It was a little tight but I thought this is going to be OK I am still focused, we have a job to do here so let's just getter' done. . . and then he started talking.

Now, his conversation wasn't just a, "hey what's up" or "how ya doing", he started in on a whole conversation about work and his job responsibilities, his thanksgiving plans, and asking how I was enjoying my own job. I tried to keep my answers brief hoping he would get a clue, but no, he continued talking.

So I was done before him but he kept talking while he was doing his thing. And so after I washed my hands I felt confused about the protocol in this situation. Should I just leave while he was talking or should I stall and wait until he finishes talking? So finally, after what seemed to be a thirty minute communique, while their was a pause I just wished him a good day and ran out.

After today's experiment in awkwardness, I feel like we need to set up some guidelines or rules, if you will, to be posted on bathrooms universally.

Rule 1-You should never sit or stand next to anyone who is going the bathroom if there is another stall or urinal available. If there is a buffer toilet then by all means take it. Even if it is a child's toilet or handicapped stall, jump on it! This is a critical time and people don't want to feel crowded. We all need a little more space in there. Please oblige us.

Rule 2-Never, ever start a conversation with the person next to you once you start doing your business. If you are mid-conversation on your way in or a conversation starts up while washing your hands, fantastic. But let's be serious, your mind and thoughts should be on the task at hand and not on the weather or your plans for the weekend.

I am sorry to send buckshot into such a wide and diverse audience but I don't know how to get word out otherwise. I know that the majority of you are good people who are not "stall crowders" or "toilet time talkers", so please just spread the word.

Comments

Erin said…
I can't believe that guy really did that! I mean, for real?! This is one of the reasons I'm glad to be a woman. I don't have to share my stall with anyone!
December 2, 2008 at 11:07 AM
Anonymous said…
So this reminds me of the infamous stalls at Stadium Terrace....Oh the conversations we roommates would have. I wonder if those bathrooms are still the same?
December 18, 2008 at 9:39 PM
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